I cannot tell you how many times I get hit up by dudes of all races asking how to smash black girls. I guess that’s the price I have to pay for picking a Tongue-in-cheek name for my site, the ignorant will always take me literally. For the record there is no default way to drop panties, even Wilt Chamberlain got turned down a few times. Unlike men, women have an entirely different handle on their horniness, and outside of a Robert Redford indecent proposal the odds of her fucking you just because you do x,y,z constantly fluctuate depending on a number of factors specific to that female. In short—just because she fucked me doesn’t mean she’ll fuck you and just because she fucked you doesn’t mean she’ll fuck me. But in the interest of fairness, I do think I should go over how to talk to women in general terms for those dudes who are stuck in their shell. Before you ladies roll your eyes and say, “fuck them, back to us” I already dedicated two chapters in the forthcoming book to the awkward or shy woman’s spit game so you’ll have to wait. I don’t want to teach you fellas how to lie better in order to get pussy, that would be counterproductive to the entire reason I write. Niggas are like, “we know the chicks who read your shit won’t fall for it, but give us game to buss open them hoes that read at a 7^th grade level and get their world news from mediatakeout”, not going to do it. However, I will tell you how to improve yourself internally in order to be more confident and in control when you’re out there on that battlefield.

Assess & Stress

We all rate ourselves. You look in the mirror, you look at your friends, and you look at those who are in positions that you want to be in, then you measure your looks, finances, and talent along those lines. Don’t pretend like you don’t, embrace it and do it often because this is where you self-confidence comes from. It doesn’t really matter to the outside world if you look better than Lebron James or not, if you believe it and that’s what you hold your hat on when you’re out in the club, then go with it. If you have a short man complex that you’ve been dealing with since you hit puberty, but you drive trucks and make more money than the rest of your friends, let that success be your fuel. No matter what you have going against you, there has to be something you see within yourself as special. If you wake up in the morning thinking how you’re not as handsome as that guy, not as good at your job as this guy, and not making as much money as another guy, you’re going to feel like shit, act like shit, and get treated like shit. Love something about yourself, and use that as the anchor as you go about improving other areas of your life that aren’t as good. One of the main reason’s keeping Boy X from getting as many women as Boy Y is doubt. If you don’t think you’re good enough to pull shorty with the light eyes that sits behind you on the train every morning, then you’re not going to pull her. Sure you can pump yourself up and get the nerve to ask for her number but you’re going to come off like a lame. Nervous, mumbling, bad eye contact, no real spit besides some corny shit like, “I see you every morning and always forget to ask your name”. Go sit down lame nigga, cus you aren’t even going to get a chance to smell the coochie with that kind of swag. Women smell confidence from a mile away and it makes their nipples hard. If you know that you are great then you will always come off as great. Will you land that woman on the train? Maybe not, but you’ll land someone just as alluring to you if you continue to go after what you want with unwavering charisma.

Okay now you believe in yourself, but chicks still decline. This is where the stress portion comes into play, you have to show a woman that best part of you, then stress that aspect. If you have a nice body, step your clothes game up to show that. Fuck if the haters say you’re rocking your sister’s tank top– show out. If you’re a fat boy with jokes, lead with that Cedric The Entertainer side of your personality. If you’re not the most fashionable or prettiest of dudes, but you get money, Stunt hard! All that “like me for me” stuff is cool, but when you’re first meeting a woman she can’t gaze into your soul and see that you love your Grandma and rescue puppies. That chick is looking to see what externally makes you worth her time. I get emails from guys who are too hefty or call themselves “too normal” and say that no matter how much they approach women they rarely get anywhere with them because they don’t look like Trigga Trey or have dope boy money. Stop complaining like you’re a fucking victim. All these ugly broke niggas getting pussy on the reg, and you want to scream “life’s not fair”? The great thing about women is that no matter how shallow they can be when it comes to looks, they are notorious for giving damn near any man at least 2.7 minutes of their time. Every dude reading this has been up in the club where some dusty ass Sticky Fingaz looking cat pulls a chick to the side and whispers in her ear. I know you’ve set there and thought, “Shit if I knew she wasn’t stuck up, I would have holla’d ten minutes ago”. That’s my point, If a girl is single, even if she has a type she’s out hunting for, she will still give your non-perfect ass a few minutes of her time because ladies love attention. That’s why you have to be prepared when approaching instead of just going YOLO. Know what you bring to the table and stress that to her in those 2.7 minutes before she blows you off with, “Sorry, I have to make a call real quick, it was nice meeting you”. You can keep her attention as long as you lead with your best foot, so stop just randomly approaching with nothing to say besides, “what’s your name”.

She Does Bite, But So What

Why is she with that clown? Because that clown went for it. One thing to understand about non-Spartan shook women, is that no matter how fly you think you come off, they will not come over to you unsolicited. The average woman is scared to death of engaging a man first, which leaves the ball in your court the majority of the time. This is the most awesome part about being a man—we have a choice. The girl you think you’re not in the same league as is most likely too afraid to even wave at those guys she deems in her league, which by defaults keeps her in your league. Women outnumber men in most major cities and universities, this means that the law of settling is always in your favor no matter who you are. This applies to random women you meet, but its most successful when trying to win over women who ignored you the first time around. That gorgeous Ethiopian girl in your class didn’t want to come over to your dorm despite the fact that you know your positives and stressed them when flirting with her. Rejection happens, but when you’re dealing with a female you see often No rarely means Never. Ask her again in the middle of the semester after the guy she was crushing on has put her in the friendzone or refused to approach her. She’s been humbled, now she’s ready to reconsider her options and give you a shot. For women settling is horrible, but it’s the reason most of these bums have bad bitches. You get exactly what you want, while she has to look on the bright side. It sounds fucked up, but every dude over 25 has vacationed in the vagina of a woman who thought of him as the second choice, third choice, or not their type.

I can write a million blogs telling women to go after the men they want, but how many are going to really listen to me after they’ve been rejected versus how many are going to go with the ONLY guy who’s asking her out to Cheesecake factory? Remember, not every woman will think you’re cute, funny, or care about the watch on your wrist, but you can’t try to guess which response you will get. Additionally you have to check your ego at the door and realize that sometimes a girl’s rejection could be based on things that were going on in her life when you asked, not based on your appeal. If you circle back around after enough time, she may reconsider. This doesn’t mean hound a girl on the weekly, that’s thirsty and pathetic, fall back and wait for the sign that she may have lowered expectations or is in a new place to where she can see that you are worth her time. In school it usually happens after a semester or two. In the real world you can usually tell by how much nicer she comes off when you meet again. Now you get the big happy smile as oppose to the short fuck-off grin you got before— it’s on now. You will always get the quality of girl you want as long as you’re not afraid to fail. Sabotage you fear does, Yoda taught me that. A closed mouth doesn’t get pussy, an explicit text from this girl who I waited too long to get at taught me that.

Girls Talk, Men Listen

Your confidence is on 100, you came off like a man who knew what he wanted, and you got the number. Here’s where 80% of you are going to fuck it up—Conversation. One of the homies who I’ve been emailing with hit me up after his last fail with the entire transcript of the phone conversation with this girl he pulled. He didn’t understand where he went wrong but the shit was as clear as Keifer & Janelle’s track marks once I read it. Fellas, getting a girl’s phone number doesn’t mean you’re going to fuck. It doesn’t even guarantee you will even get past the text stage. Don’t assume that she’s on your dick because you got a in reply to your, “it was good meeting you” text. In a woman’s mind you may just be someone to talk to because she’s bored, so always assume that you have to put in work! Even if a woman thinks you’re sexy, one bad conversation can turn you ugly. This means you don’t have room for error, so let your personality shine through from the jump. Back to the little homie’s conversation, it was one of those high school type, “What did you do today… oh that’s cool… did you have fun”. He bored the panties back on a girl he probably could have got with. STOP THE DRYNESS! Unless you’re in a relationship, you have no business starting a conversation about a woman’s day. You don’t care if she had to babysit for her ratchet Aunt and that the baby kept crying, and she doesn’t want to be reminded that her life is boring and watching someone’s kid was the highlight of her day. Furthermore do not spend all the time chit chatting about TV and other trivial bullshit. When you first start talking to a girl she’s not going to be that comfortable, so while she does talk to her girlfriends about Nicki Minaj Vs Mariah Carey for forty minutes straight, she isn’t that relaxed enough around you to do the same. Girls love to laugh, but a lot of you don’t know when to stop being a fool and end up hitting a nerve that pisses her off. So what should you talk about? Her.

Girls love to talk about themselves, not what they did, not what they’re watching, but who they are and who they are not.  It’s not them being vain or having motor mouths, it’s because most don’t have males who actually want to listen to them on that level. It’s amazing how many females are bottled up, and it’s rare that they meet a guy who’s not just trying to get them to send naked pictures or direct the conversation back to the last time she had her box ate. If you can master the art of being the type of man that can listen, she will always want to take your call. Even though you may not be high on her list when it comes to looks or money, the fact that you are there to lean on and see things from her perspective makes you invaluable. Do not feel a need to jump in with your own life story, it sounds mean, but women don not want to hear that shit when they’re trying to unload things they never get to express. There will be times when you get to go into your feelings, but in the beginning place the focus on her and really get to understand who she is. Stick to small doses of who you are, such as what you do for a living, goals, and what you bring to the table that other men don’t. At the same time, keep your intentions clear or you will fall into the friendzone. A lot of fellas get in the habit of playing it too cool or too friendly, and platonic their way out of a girlfriend. Mixed signals happen when the two of you don’t communicate on that freaky level, gentlemen know how to pop for phone sex too. If “no new friends” is the motto, verbalize that she can get early and often before you become just her “brother”. Combine the ability to be someone she can talk to all night with sexual chemistry and you’re gold, Ponyboy.

What Do You Really Want From Her?

This is the part where you can turn a good girl bad if you’re not careful. Women are fiercely loyal once you embed yourself in their lives. It doesn’t matter if she didn’t think you were that cute, if you don’t have a job, or that you can be a bit of an asshole. You put in the work and made her see you as someone worthy of her trust and affection, now she likes you in spite of all those negatives because you showed her the type of attention and patience most guys don’t. Some girls will assume that by putting in that kind of work you see her as something serious, but we all know that isn’t really true. Forget what she thinks you want and the initial reason you went after her: it’s time to ask what you really want from her now that you’ve seen all she has to offer.

Pussy: She’s cool and all, but you just want to fuck.

Relationship: You’re not trying to marry her, but you damn sure want to handcuff something this bomb and keep her away from the rest of the world.

Friendship: She’s not someone you want to be tied down to, but a girl you want to keep around just to have fun with.

Any dude who says he doesn’t know what he wants from a girl he’s known for more than 30 days is a liar. I guarantee you’re not just “seeing where it goes” save those lies for the basic bitches, this is the brotherhood you’re talking to. If you’re confused as to what you want from her, it’s only because you’re allowing nerves and/or peer pressure to overrule your gut instinct. Women hate to hear this, but we as men know that a girl’s personality or lack thereof will quickly turn her from a potential girlfriend to headache in less than two weeks. We all have the right to change our minds about a person, that’s why we get to know that pretty girl with the phat ass instead of just proposing to her because of how she looks in a bikini. Let me make something clear in terms of guilt. You have the right to just want to have fun, to date multiple girls, and to fuck like a rabbit until you feel it’s time to grow up. Get serious when you’re ready, not because you hit a certain age, your mother says so, or a girl is really nice to you. Do You until you meet that Game Changer, which means keep your options open and explore until the lighting of a bad bitch strikes and takes away that desire to holla at new girls. A female with a high opinion of herself will tell you all the things she does and brings to the table, but if you don’t feel that electric connection, then don’t buy into it—keep moving. That’s not to say that you should withhold information while searching for Miss Right. Once you master the art of talking to women and getting them to open up, do not waste their time and your time misleading them with lies or letting them assume shit is more serious than it is.

Don’t Sell Your Soul For Pussy

There are things I call innocent lies and then there are heartbreaking lies. An innocent lie is, “I want you to come over and chill cus I miss you, I won’t try nothing”. There is no harm in luring a grown woman back to your place. If she believes that you’re not going to try and finger her halfway through Hunger Games, then she’s an idiot. Those are little cat and mouse games that men and women play. A heartbreaking lie is, “Yes I want to be with you, you’re not like the rest”, when you know damn well you barely like the bitch, and just want to use the title to get in that pussy. Dawg, believe in your game! If you talked to her the right way and impressed her, she wants to smash, you don’t need to tip the scales by lying about how this shit is destined. I always give girls shit for playing the victim, but in this case they have a right to complain, because some men do too much to get something that’s going to be handed to them anyway. My boy told me, “Man you can’t just say you want to fuck because they won’t fuck”, that’s sort of true, but if your game is tight you don’t have to say a word. I get tons of emails from women who openly talk about how they had sex, even after the guy said he didn’t want anything serious. Women do what they want to do with whom they want to do it with! If shorty’s feeling you, nothing besides killing her mother or deleting Scandal off her DVR will stop her from bussing it open for you, regardless of a relationship status. She may give you the cold shoulder for a minute after you tell her you’re not ready to be serious, but if you continue to be a real friend, she’ll most likely still fuck you. If she doesn’t, oh well, you can repeat the same steps and pull another girl, and this time you may actually meet one you like.

If your only focus is “How can I have sex with girls” then you’re missing out on the true beauty of women. Physical attraction is nothing compared to the chemistry you can have with a woman that can turn you on mentally as well. There are hoes, and there are women, if you just want sex then don’t bother dating, hit the ATM then go buy some pussy. If you want to experience what women really have to offer, stop looking at them as objects and start looking at them as prospects. Approaching women can be intimidating, rejection is always scary, and actually falling for one is even more terrifying. The rollercoaster of is she right for life or just right for a few nights puts us men in a position where we occasionally have to hurt feelings, and no matter how easy you let a girl off after you figure out she’s not the one, you will be painted the bad guy. Love is a cruel process of elimination but a key part of life. You can either stay behind your keyboard beating off to Pornstars or you go through the trials and tribulations of finding a woman that makes you a better man. It all starts with you.

Thanks for reading How To Talk To Women

Basic bitches love shortcuts, no matter how many times you try to explain to them that you can’t force a man to reciprocate love, they look for ways to prove you wrong. Walking away from someone who doesn’t respect you as a woman is apparently the hardest thing in the world. Accepting that no matter what you do, some men will never think you’re good enough hurts too much. And looking in the proverbial mirror to figure out your own shortcomings in order to make yourself more appealing, takes is an effort you don’t have time for. Basicas swear they are perfect, the men they love will eventually love them back, and all they needs to do is figure out a cheat code  to get from Pussy to Wifey by the end of the year. There is no up up down down, Konami code to win this game! Throwing pussy, letting dudes get in your throat, and giving payday loans is a thirsty bitches love hustle, and it usually ends in failure and heartbreak. However, there is one way to keep a man in her life forever– a baby. Basicas have babies and think that maternity will turn into matrimony. Because of that delusional stance on love, these women end up in a never ending cycle of chasing men who want nothing to do with them or getting played by men who use the baby daddy status to take advantage. He came inside you and said he loved you, but it takes more than nut and words to prove that he’s genuine. Pussy is a hell of a drug, and sorry to break the news but impregnating a woman is not an indication of true love.

I’ve gotten more than a few emails from mothers talking about “I’m just trying to make this work for my son ”. 9 out of 10 times I call bullshit on these ladies because the stories they tell me have NOTHING to do with wanting a father for their child and EVERYTHING to do with wanting a man to call their own. It’s disgusting that children are being used as handcuffs, child support is being used as leverage, and baby mama status abused in order to chase away the other women in his life. ”She can call herself his girlfriend, fiance, or whatever she wants, but we have a child together!” A bun in the oven is not the same as a ring on the finger! Just because he loves his kid doesn’t mean he loves you, the proof is always in the status, and a lot of you are hustling backwards. How the fuck are you FWB with a nigga you carried a baby for? How can you still be “working it out” with someone you created life with? If you two couldn’t get on the same page in those nine months—he ain’t fucking with you. If watching you push a human out of your vagina couldn’t get him to see you differently– he ain’t fucking with you. If that man wanted to be with you, he would be with you, there is no middle ground. Spend the night, smash, take his kid to the park, then go back to his regular life is not being with you. Women like that are babysitters with benefits, yet they pop their collar like it’s going to lead somewhere. Take care of my little boy for me, hit me off with some pussy when I come to see him, now leave me alone until the next time I call. Thank god you didn’t need to pass an IQ test to become a mother or you’d be really fucked! You know you’re not being treated right, go complain about him being a bum and curse him out, but most likely you’ll answer that door when he comes knocking because you aren’t strong enough to let go.

On the other side of the fence from those women who get exploited are those who refuse to take “no” for an answer. He laid down to make a baby with you so he belongs to you. His new girlfriend is trying to steal him away, his mother is jealous, the world is against you and all you want to do is be a good mother and unite your family. Stop it with the conspiracy theories and get the hint, you can’t make him want you the way you want him. I know this girl who used child support to blackmail her ex-boyfriend into an engagement. The dude moved in because he didn’t want his paycheck being gobbled up and did the bare minimum relationship wise. He didn’t pay any bills, take her out, or do anything helpful besides drop the kid off at the sitter in the morning and dick her down at night.  Instead of letting go of the romantic aspect, she ended up supporting both the baby and the father. This dummy even brought herself an engagement ring. That says it all, she never cared about her child having a father, or getting money out of him to help out, she was more focused on keeping that man under her roof. Go ahead and roll your eyes at the single mothers who couldn’t get their baby daddy’s to commit, but a lot of you are out here bribing these men to stay. It’s time to stop clinging on to what was and dwelling on the fantasy of what could be and understand that you do have other options. “But we have a child together” is not proof that you are soul mates, it’s become an excuse to act desperate.

They don’t need Dad, you need Dick

Women raise kids on their own everyday, b. There’s a difference between a sperm donor and a dad, and if he’s not trying to fulfill that role, then fuck him and handle yours! Help is for the handicap, and there is no reason to beg and plead for a man to be in your life regardless of your financial or family situation. I’m a proud product of a single parent home, and while my mother had her struggles, I never knew because I had everything I could ever ask for. Yes it’s great to  give your child a storybook home, but if you have to chase a man down and force him into that position, then it’s not worth it. By the time you finish explaining to your daughter why you allowed Daddy to have side hoes, call you out your name, and not come home Friday nights, it’s going to be too late because she’s going to be pregnant by a nigga who treats her just like daddy treated mommy. It’s the 21^st century, women’s salaries are higher than ever, and if you own DSL you can get a PHD. There’s sport’s leagues, camps, and Uncles if you want some testosterone around your child. It may not be a cake walk, but you can do it on your own. Save the, “his son needs him” shit because we all know whose really crying for him to come back, and it ain’t the one in the diaper.

There is also this catch-22 where women think that no man will ever want them because they have a child, so they are determined to stay with the father. How do you know if that’s true if you don’t talk to any other men? You went out twice since the baby was born and hated it, not because all the men you saw were ugly, because you kept comparing them to the nigga that got you pregnant. If you learn to let go of that dream and open yourself up to meeting new men, then there is no reason that you shouldn’t be able to find a husband that will accept your family in progress. “I stopped talking to him because my baby’s father came back into my life” is one of the top ten dumbest quotes ever. Let me get this right. I knock you up, get my fill of pregnant pussy, make sure the kid comes out with all his fingers, buy a few Huggies, then bounce…. Now I’m allowed to come back a year down the line, say how I miss my daughter, cry that I want to work it out, and you drop your new “friend” to accommodate me? Sign me up for the Avengers because I must have Hulked out in that pussy for you to be that damn dick whipped. Regardless if you have a child or not, a man has to be accountable for his actions. Yes, it’s his right to see his child, but that doesn’t give him an easy pass back into your heart or vagina. A lot of good dudes out here don’t fuck with chicks with kids because many of them are suckers for the fathers. It has nothing to do with these women being unable to raise a child on their own, or the kid yelling for daddy, it’s because they refuse to let go of those emotions that got her to take his raw dick in the first place. If your baby daddy wants a relationship with you, it comes second to him proving that he’s going to be there for his seed. I grew up with a homie who would only go see his BM when he wanted to fuck, as horrible as it sound he wanted nothing to do with his son until he was old enough to shit in a toilet and throw a ball. Just because he’s your child’s father doesn’t mean he’s not going to play you. Only after he’s proven that he’s a decent dad does he get the right to try and win you back. Too many women automatically rush back as soon as a nigga texts, “I miss my family”. Stop being so fucking easy.

Don’t Make a Good Dad into a Villain

Contrary to popular belief there are guys who take care of their responsibilities as best they can, and still can’t catch a break. Homie sees his son every weekend, pays child support, gives extra, and that isn’t enough for some women. This situation isn’t working because at the end of the day he’s not with you and that cuts deep. If only you could make this great father into a great boyfriend again. It’s not always over because you two broke up, people change,  and because you share a child, you can see that change over the months or years and then reconnect. That’s some beautiful shit… but most of the time it doesn’t play out that way. No matter how much time passes or how many times you two have sex for “old times’ sake” recognize when he doesn’t want to be with you romantically. Accept that your relationship is one of co-parents, and stop holding his not wanting to be with you against him. He’s not shit because he’s always out with those hoes. He’s not shit because he be liking bitches pictures on instagram. He’s not shit because he had some girl over his house when my baby spent the weekend. Take the stick out of your ass, and stop hating. Does he take care of his responsibilities as a father? *taps foot and waits* Then why do you care how he lives his life as a SINGLE man? It’s not like he’s having sex with the baby in the bed or making your four year old operate the porno camera. Your hatred stems from jealousy because you want him back, not because he’s a bad parent. The man you want forever would rather have Shemeka and ‘em in his bed– oh fucking well! Own up to your insecurities and get over it instead of lumping him in the “ain’t shit” category. Your aggression and anger will spill over to your children and then sides will be drawn. Either Daddy becomes the mean man Mommy always complains about or Mommy becomes the bitter bitch who won’t give Superdad a break. Either way you are making your child choose sides unfairly. Of course it’s going to be hard seeing someone you love choose other females over you, but deal with it like a woman, not a brat.

Never Let Your Child See You as Weak

You owe it to your kid to try and make things work with the father, but you also owe it to them to be smart enough to realize when you’re not wanted and walk away. When I saw Mimi allow her daughter to be shown on TV with Stevie J instead of keeping her off camera, it made me sick. You literally signed off to have your daughter on a show where you are constantly dogged out by her father and his whore like it’s cute? Children need to be sheltered from the ugly side of adult relationships for as long as possible, not thrown into the mix. Molly the maid aside, in real life too many women expose their children to their messy relationship unaware of the damage it’s going to cause later on in life. Basica Alba has her 6 month old on her hip in the middle of the street cursing her baby daddy out for texting some chick. Lakeisha VanderRatchet has her toddler helping throw Daddy’s shit out the window while she calls him all kinds of “motherfuckers”. Why are you so messy!?! Curve your anger until your youngling is far away from the argument. What’s worse than that is the weak bitches that let dudes hit them, scream at them, and shake the shit out of them in front of the kids. Many of these women go right back because he said sorry and she wants to work it out for the benefit of the family. Show me an ass whipping that’s worth keeping a two parent household together and I’ll show you a unicorn. Your son or daughter may never ever talk about seeing daddy yell or hit you, but that shit will stay with them for life. “Daddy issues” isn’t just some cliché saying, the shit is real. 70’s babies allowed men to run over them because they were afraid to be alone, and now these 90’s kids are dealing with the ramification of having basic ass mothers. Parents have no business being selfish, and mothers especially can’t afford to be weak. You have a child who looks up to you and you owe it to them to be confident, definitive, and Spartan strong. You want someone to talk to you, someone to love you, someone to share in those milestones with you, and save you from becoming that lonely ass unwed mom taking pictures at the high school graduation. You you you. Get. Over. Yourself! Stop crying about being single, stop whining about raising a child on your own, and stop thinking life still revolves around your quest to get married. Your child is the only relationship that matters and you should be willing to die alone rather than expose them to your fucked up love life. Stop throwing yourself a pity party and start acting with the common sense of someone’s mother.

Thanks for reading Making It Work For The Kids

How do I Spartan up if I’m shy? Simple. Stop being so fucking shy. It’s okay to have an introverted personality and be a quiet person, but you have to be able to flip the switch when necessary. The biggest roadblock for women looking for a legitimate relationship is the inability to speak up. You’re afraid to speak first, you’re afraid to ask to be taken on a real date, you’re afraid to call him after the first time you have sex, and worst of all you are afraid to tell him that you don’t just want to be his fuck buddy anymore. Way too many ladies are scared to communicate to the person who matters most, so they front like they’re content with these half-ass relationships. Females tell their girlfriends how they feel and all the things she wishes he would do… But when he’s right there face to face, it’s cricket season. I’ve dealt with girls who were sassy, nasty, and loud, but inspite of all of that they were still too nervous to check me on my bullshit. “You tell me what you want to do” is the shy bitch anthem. Why are women so passive where it matters the most? If you express all of your feelings he’s going to think you’re a nagging wedding ring chaser and leave you for a girl who doesn’t pressure him. That false reality is the cat that has your tongue, you shy away from confrontation because you fear him bouncing. As the woman, you should be the one wielding all the power, but instead you sit there quiet as a mouse and hope that he asks for your number, takes you on a date, calls you after he hits, and tells you that he wants you to be his girl. Guess what? That nigga is going to keep doing what he’s doing so long as you’re following his lead like an obedient puppy. It’s time to exercise your right as a woman to lead him down the road you want to go. Of course that doesn’t happen as much as it should because the thought of him saying, “Fuck you bitch, I’m on to the next” instead of doing what you want, keeps most women on hush duty. Him leaving you isn’t the worst thing that could happen, you staying on his leash until you’re old, bitter, and void of vagina walls is the worst that could happen. The result of this scared to lose him mentality are the purgatory relationships. I’ve talked to over two hundred women who have the same story. Meet a guy, start talking romantically, have sex, wait around for him to decide what it’s going to be. Why are you letting these men decide your relationship status? Why are you putting yourself on the shelf for zero return on your investment? That’s right, because you THINK you need him. “Ain’t no ring on my finger, so I can do what I want” …on paper, but in reality you are choosing to be controlled. It’s not your pussy, it’s his pussy, and all he has to do to keep it is show up.

Guy: You know you the wifey type, but I’m just doing me right now.

Girl: I’m not looking for a man, so don’t even trip.

Guy: Cool.

*Two Months Later*

Girl: So what’s going on with us?

Guy: Whatchu mean?

Girl: Whatchu mean, what I mean? You know what? Fuck this!

*Girl walks out. Guy shrugs and goes back to playing Call of Duty*

Girl: (walks back in) I’m sorry, bay. I shouldn’t have cursed at you. You want something to drink?

Girls are notorious for saying they don’t want a relationship, yet they take the dick and agree to be exclusive. After enough time passes that girl’s patience wears thin and she throws a fit because he hasn’t automatically upgraded her to a title she initially said she didn’t want. You can blame that dude for getting you open, but be real, he had to act like he cared in order to get pussy on the regular, you’re the one who let it go on way pass the point of casual sex. This isn’t a case of a woman not wanting a boyfriend then falling in love, it’s an example of how women want to be loved, but are afraid to admit that to themselves. Every few weeks I’m asked for advice from a girl wanting sex with no strings attached, but rarely is that really the case once I talk to these women. Ladies, if you just want sex from a guy it’s this easy, “Come thru tonight”. They don’t want to be that forward because then that guy will think they’re freaks. So what! Why go through all of that getting to know each other shit if you aren’t ready for something serious? Why waste your time flirting and playing hard to get if you just want to be piped? You don’t want to come off like a slut, so you act like you’re not just trying to fuck even though you are just trying to fuck. Huh? Doc Brown explaining time travel makes more sense than the madness of women pretending they aren’t looking for love. This is why niggas run after they smash, some of you don’t mean what you say or say what you mean, and we don’t have time to guess your true intentions. Why do you care how slutty you come off unless you do want more than the physical? Shy Shanel wants to have sex—but she doesn’t want a one night stand, shorty wants to get to know this guy and make sure he’s trustworthy before busting it open. Oh, and after the sex she wants to be able to chill with him indoors and out. Um, that sure sounds like having a boyfriend to me. You can call a duck a dog all you want, but at the end of the day that motherfucker still quacks. Being exclusive but single is the dumbest relationship status ever created. Bitch, you want a man, not a dildo, so just admit it! Label it whatever, but you’re still engaging in something serious and putting the same pressure on each other as a real relationship. You know his Mom, let him go raw, and are afraid to even @ another nigga on twitter because you would feel bad– sounds like you need to redefine serious. In the end someone always gets hurt because you don’t need an official title to catch official feelings. A lot of you have fallen in love with these guys despite having said, “I won’t let it get serious” six months ago. So let’s break down why this happens and how to dig yourself out.

Too Cool To Be a Romantic

You’re not like the rest of these birds who are hard up for love, need to be up under a dude, stalk his Facebook, and blow up his phone… You are the coolest chick on the planet. Down to trip with his boys, drink out the bottle, let him talk to other girls, and fuck him whenever. That’s the sales pitch a lot of women are sticking with. The problem with that bullshit is that not only is it fake, it devalues you on every level. You think guys want a girl who’s not a pain in the ass and who won’t pressure him for a relationship. Therefore your plan to undercut other women is to sell yourself as cheap and stress free. “Don’t go over to that Nigerian girl with the big booty, she’s going to want a relationship before she gives up that ass. Come over to me, I’m getting over my ex and just down to fuck and do whatever”. That lie reeks of lonely bitchism. Girls who spit that “just down to be friends” game are worse than hoes, because they come free. You think Alicia Keys met Swizz Beatz and was like, “Keep working things out with your wife, I don’t want a relationship, I’m just trying to be friends with benefits and not stress you”. Hell no, Alicia set the rules and Swizzy broke a world record sprinting out of Mashonda’s coochie because she was worth it. You are worth it too! Stop giving away Promo Codes for your pussy because you’re lonely. Any woman who knows her value doesn’t need to undersell herself in order to lure a man. If you’re a bad chick then you’re always going to be wanted, you don’t need to fake like you’re cool with whatever. Dudes who you would bring chicken soup to in the snow and not even get a thanks from, will end up with the most bitchy and un-submissive women because those chicks know they’re bad and have the charisma of a Martian. If a Spartan decides that she’s through being fuck buddies and wants her friend as her man, she plants her flag in his dick, then tells him to leave it there or get the fuck out. C.O.N.T.R.O.L! You hold the pussy so you control the situation, always. Stop getting gassed by these guys who tell you, “You’re mad cool, every girl should be like you” because I bet that same nigga who feeds you that cool shit, hasn’t made you his girlfriend. What he’s really saying is, “You’re mad dumb, every girl should be like you because I don’t have to put in any work”.

Women love telling men that they don’t have to lie to kick it. Practice what you preach. I think women should have FWB if they are emotionally capable of sticking to the script. Sex is fun, get your fuck on and let the Kegels snap it back when it’s time to settle down. However, I can count on my fingers the women I’ve actually come across that are truly bout that life. Those girls who pretend to be above love are worse than the coons on black twitter who front like they’re bosses. Those clowns don’t sign payroll checks and you still fantasize about wedding colors, so stop fronting! It’s okay to embrace your romantic side and be a girly girl in the 21^st century. Yeah you’re focused on money, school, family, and whatever but don’t blow smoke up your own ass. If you were to meet a nice guy who asked you to be his girl, would you agree or would you tell him to know his role and be happy as your part-time penis? Answer that question privately and keep it real with yourself. Don’t walk around pretending to be single and loving it when you’re single and looking.

You Have No Leverage

You know why men will always have their pick of damn near any woman they want while women will continue to sit and wait to be chosen? We understand the concept of leverage. Leverage is our Infinity Gauntlet, with it we control women who are way out of our leagues, bend the will of bottom bitches, and bust open Basicas. We bait women with whatever our best asset is and make her feel as though we’re an upgrade from all the bums she usually deals with. By coming in with our sales pitch of “Best in the world”, we mind fuck her into believing that she’s finally found a good one. Go ahead and say how you were hurt before or how you’re celibate, and you don’t want a relationship—it doesn’t matter. That guy knows you like him a lot, and all he has to do is pretend to want the same thing you do—friendship. He says he wants friendship but he’s treating you like a girlfriend because men know attention is the key. Girls say shit like, “I didn’t even like him when we first met, he was on me“. His ugly ass didn’t have a gun to your head, he just showed you attention under the guise of being a friend and you cracked. Once a man hooks you, the infatuation sets in. Not only do you dig this guy, you are consumed by him morning, noon, and night. Even though you’re crushing hard on homie, you still have the power because you control the thing he’s most attracted to– new pussy. Here’s where the reverse psychology of a man who has good game comes in. You said you were only looking for a friendship, now we’re friends. I’m horny, you’re horny, adult friends can fuck. Why not have sex, it’s not like you’re holding out for anything serious because you’re not into that mushy stuff, right? See what I did? I used your own status of “nothing serious” to get free pussy. Now that new pussy shotgun becomes an old pussy pellet gun, and your power is gone. We men know the difference between a girl who can handle casual sex and one who can’t by the way she reacts after the sex. No matter how loud you scream, “I’m doing me!”, we see through it by the emojicons you send, the way you stalk on social media, and how you catch attitudes over things “friends” shouldn’t catch feelings over. The girls who can truly handle casual sex are the ones whose clits we ride the hardest and try to lock down immediately because they really can take us or leave us, and that drives our egos crazy and maintains her power over us. The ones who are just playing that role, we game the hell out of for as long as we can, and say shit like, “but you’re the one who said you liked your freedom”, because we know you’re dependent on us. That’s the power of leverage.

So what’s holding him to you after sex? Repeat pussy and convenience which isn’t hard to find. What’s holding you to him? Companionship and orgasms aka a woman’s best friend and worst nightmare. You can claim it’s just the sex that has you sprung, but it’s also the bond you have with him. He has leverage over you because you are comfortable, happy, and like having someone around to both talk to and have sex with. On the other hand, dude can bounce at any time without notice because newer pussy and better challenges switch by him every day. This is the point in the relationship where most of you are. You are afraid to redefine the rules of your relationship, because you have no leverage. You know and he knows that there is nothing really keeping him from going off to his next “friend” and leaving you lonely again so you play along. Here’s what the victim says: “But NC, I didn’t want anything serious, I swear, he’s the one that kept talking that love stuff and saying we should be exclusive.” Do you blame the salesmen for telling you how sexy you look on a motorcycle or do you blame yourself for buying a fucking motorcycle when you were really shopping for a car? Your IQ is bigger than your shoe size so save that victim shit. If you were trying to protect your heart from a serious relationship you would have kept him at a distance, been out meeting other men as well, and only talking to him when it suited you. Instead of continuing to be single, you let a wolf in sheep’s clothing tell you that you’re pretty, put the tip in, and expose you for the lonely love-sick woman that you are. And now here you are, unsure of what he wants from you, trying to hide what you want from him, and stressed because you don’t know what you should do next. You’re not Friends With Benefits, You’re his Dumb Bitch On Lock.

Enough of The Bullshit

How do you get this guy you’ve fallen for to see you in a different light and regain that power once you’ve lost it? You’ll just have to read that chapter in my book (on sale this summer). But I will leave you all with this for now: Work on communicating at every step of the relationship no matter how scared you are that he may not like it. Men are like kids, they may have good hearts, but they will always take advantage of stupidity. Are you really going to waste weeks, months, or years letting some guy dictate if you’re single, involved, exclusive, or just friends? Or are you prepared to Spartan up and take control of your own life. Remember, you don’t have to pressure any man for a relationship. If he’s already been dealing with you then he should already be impressed, your personality should shine so bright that he thinks you shit glitter. I’m not saying that if he hasn’t claimed you then you’re corny… you may be, but sometimes it’s a case of a man having his cake, eating it too, and not trying to trade that easy life in for a title until he’s confronted. The hints, the indirect questions, the passive aggressiveness, we men know when you’re sick of being in relationship purgatory, but we’re going to play dumb like we don’t understand what you really want for as long as you pretend that you are content with being merely exclusive. Ladies you have to stop beating around the bush like little ass girls, stop shying away from confrontation, and stop being afraid to lose him like he’s the last real nigga alive. If you give everything to a man under the cover of not wanting anything serious, he’s going to take your word for it, milk you dry, and then move on to a woman who actually knows her value. Get what you want, not what he’s willing to give. Stop assuming that to know you is to love you because someone else may not think you’re as bomb as you say you are. There is no backdoor into a relationship, so go through the front by laying your expectations out there the moment you start to like him. I’m not looking to jump into a relationship, but I’m open to one. That’s authentic. I want all of you to walk into a bank and ask for a handshake loan because you’re not comfortable with the paperwork, then take note as they look at you like you’re the dumbest person on earth. That’s the same look you should give to these fools who tell you they want you all to themselves, but not officially.

Thanks for reading Exclusive, But Not Official

Don’t feel bad, even Halle Berry got cheated on. I love that we live in a world where pointing to a celebrity’s misfortune helps people feel less shitty about their own situations. Beauty, money, fame, none of that shallow shit guarantees loyalty, that’s true, but statements like that are self-defeating. It’s like you’re giving men a free pass by using the excuse, “I’m not as good as her, so of course it’s going to happen to me”. Accepting it as unstoppable is never the answer. Try telling the Bodega owner he should cheer up because Citibank gets robbed too, and he’s liable to spit in your face. Who cares what happened to someone else, the how come’s of your situation are unique to you, and 10 out of 10 cheaters have different excuses as to why they did it, so stop finding comfort in being a member of the club. Cheating is a compulsion that is so varied that you could fill a phone book with all the reasons why people do it and still not understand. I want to talk about one in particular that I get emailed about—hoes trying to take your men. Nearly every ratchet gossip site did a story about that affair between DJ Envy and reality star Erica Mena. For those who aren’t up on trivial hood drama, here’s the rundown. Envy, married for nearly 20 years, steps out on his pretty wife with this industry cooz, and for some reason this caused a panic.

Sometimes being married it makes you insecure dude. I looked like I had everything. It was scary, my wife is gorgeous. She might need somebody that’s smarter than me. It made me insecure. With being insecure, with me being weak. I was so insecure and so I started messing with somebody that was beneath me. A bird. Evil. A liar. Somebody that was desperate and it’s just so pathetic. – DJ Envy

Instead of talking about how Envy is a piece of shit it became more about how his wife was too pretty for that to happen, insinuating that if his wife was a biscuit away from Precious it would have been understandable… The confusion women always seem to have is, “Why do men lower themselves? If you’re going to cheat she should be worth it”. No she shouldn’t be. In reality there isn’t a pretty enough face, a phat enough ass, or rich enough sugar mama to justify hurting the one you love. Nothing is worth it—nothing. Men who cheat are rarely trying to replace the ones they’re with, so that logic of “she has to be better” is flawed. Not that Erica Mena’s ugly in my eyes, I’d beat that sober, but nearly all the little write ups were written in the tone of “that bitch ain’t even cute”.  They’re all missing the appeal of women like her, it has nothing to do with who’s prettier than who, it’s about that intangible hoe vibe. Erica Mena oozes slutty hotness the same way Michelle Obama oozes classy strength. Looking easy gets a dick harder than being easy because it’s not the actual appearance of a vagina that makes the blood boil, it’s the way she’s packaged that creates the thought of, “Damn! I know this bitch is nasty“. That dirtiness is a magnet that makes guys who have something better extremely curious, and all it takes is a moment of weakness to be sucked in. If you’re looking for the answer to stop your man from cheating you won’t find that here. What you will get is a better understanding of smart hoes and the men who love them.

Hoes Have No Rules

1+1=3 and the capital of Texas is DC. Shorty won’t win on Jeopardy, but the way she bites her lips, looks at his ring finger and says, “where’s your wife tonight?” will fuck up what you spent years trying to build. Her seduction and hustle IQ is what separates a smart hoe from the run of the mill jump off. Sex appeal and beauty don’t always go hand in hand, it’s the little things some women do that drive a man crazy. I tell women all the time that it’s not that hard to take a boy from his girlfriend if you have the confidence to walk over, the aggression to say the shit that his girl would blush saying, and the foresight not to fuck him until the prior relationship is over. A man who’s looking for something better will always leave when presented with something better, but not just because it’s merely different. So it’s all about letting him smell the greatness, but never allowing him to taste it until the other bitch is out of your throne. That’s what I call applying hoe tactics while maintaining your integrity. When you’re dealing with a full blown hoe it’s an entirely new ballgame and the rules such as don’t fuck married men or the man of your real friends don’t apply. You don’t have to be worried about her taking your man, you can keep him, she’s just going to get what she wants then return his bitch ass like a library book. These women don’t want a title, most would prefer that he keep his girlfriend or wife because fucking a man who swears he loves you is the ultimate ego boost to women with low self-esteem. “You can keep that ring, it won’t stop him from eating my pussy every time I ask”, “You say I don’t got shit on you, but we fucking the same nigga raw?”, or my personal favorite, “I share his dick with you by choice, you share his dick with me by force” Every month I stumble upon little hoe arguments on twitter, and I have to admit, while it is trifling, they have a point. You’re worshiping this man as your king, and she’s objectifying him as a dick. You would be devastated if you broke up with him, she’s ignoring his call because she has another dude inside her. You would do anything for your boo, she wouldn’t even send flowers to that nigga’s funeral… yet she’s getting the same pipe as you. It’s such a fucked up balance of power, and while it is a huge blow to your ego, you really can’t argue with someone who casually fucks the person who you passionately love.

You can’t win against a hoe because she’s not after the same prize as you. She’s not searching for wedding bands and picket fences, shorty’s aim is Red Bottoms and waking up in a new Bugatti. Ladies prefer to submit and cater to their man, hoes prefer to exploit and get catered to by your man. Know the difference between the side hoe and the slide hoe. The side hoe wants what you have. The slide hoe comes through, has fun, gets what she wants out the nigga, then sends him back to you to mother him. #coldworld. I think Erica Mena is the perfect hoe because she knows how to manipulate and use what she has to get what she wants at the highest level. Last year she hustled her way onto a reality show. Replaced the girls she had beef with, made sure to fuck her way into a storyline with another cast member, and then made herself the focal character. Fuck publicity, this is ho’plicity that Paris Hilton or Kim K would be proud of. Erica’s not the best looking chick on the planet, but her charisma is off the chart and she’s an expert bullshiter. She uses her turbulent past as a crutch for her bad behavior when necessary and uses “doing it for my kid” as the motivation behind her scandalous ways. When a woman pulls her card she appeals to her maternal side like a bad puppy who needs to learn how to do better. When a man calls her out, she says all she wants to be is understood, while batting her teary eyes and pushing those tits up to the heavens. Hoes may not know how to do multiplication without a calculator, but they know how to brush that ass against a guy in a way that makes him just as dumb. Once you take away a man’s ability to see past the phoniness, seduce his body, and stroke his ego, it’s a wrap. You can be as obedient as Porsha Stewart when Kordell snaps his fingers, but if you are involved with a weak man, you will always end up sharing him.

You Can’t Out Hoe a Hoe

Single women and those in a relationship all hate hoes, not because they get attention, but because the way they lower themselves in order to get it. You’re over here looking like Nordstrom’s and she’s over there throwing pussy with the refinement of a Super Wal-Mart, yet these men are hypnotized by her and only half aware of you. As one girl told me, “shit ain’t fair”. This creates a fight or flight scenario. These women can choose to wait for their sophistication to be appreciated by a man who wants more than a hole, or they can stand their ground and do battle in order to get those men who are hoe’notized. I can dress like a slut too. I can talk nasty when I want. My box will make him forget all about those bitches. Two can play that game isn’t always the case. Hoes are playing a game that has nothing to do with revealing clothes, flirting, or tight pussy, they are morally on another planet from the average lady. If you try and get down in the mud and compete with them, you’ll get dirty, but you’ll never be as filthy. Hoes aren’t shy or awkward, they don’t need the lights out, and they don’t need any assurance that he’s going to be around in the morning. You have fun, hoes TURN THE FUCK up. You like your ass smacked, hoes like to go ass to mouth. You make him promise not to show your nudes to his boys, hoes tell him to call his boys over. They will do things that you are too good to do, and that’s the edge you can’t counter.

Despite looking down on that lifestyle, there’s this female fascination with how to do what hoes do that has caused a buzz on the internet. Girls secretly look for tips and insight on that lifestyle because the good parts of it do sound appealing if you’re stuck dealing with bums. Getting a man to buy you dinner for pussy is elementary and few women would want that. However, having a man take you on trips, shower you with attention, and treat you like royalty for doing the same thing you’re doing for the broke niggas, that doesn’t sound wrong at all. On paper it’s so simple, yet in reality it’s so difficult to obtain because proper hoeing, not cheesecake factory and “nails did”, is a skill. You can have a hoe trainer in your corner telling you to do xyz, but just like there is a difference between a guy who can fight and a guy who knows how to box, you can’t pick that shit up over the course of a few months and win the title. You’ve been raised to be a lady your entire life, you’re soft, romantic, and honest—you are truly not about that life. Unless you have your hoe trainer on the date with you, your inexperience will get you fucked over more times than it’ll get you a first class flight to Bora Bora. There is something to thinking like a hoe, but the actual art of hoeing shouldn’t be emulated because you want to compete with the next bitch for a man who’s not worth it in the first place.

Hoe Survival Guide

How do you make your husband or boyfriend only have eyes for you? You can’t. You have a better chance at surviving the Zombie Apocalypse than you do at getting a man to keep his dick out of a hoe. DJ Envy’s wife could have cooked in heels every night, gave him head for an hour each day, introduced toys into the bedroom, and did all the this submissive mixed with nasty stuff that these single women tell you to do in order to make your man happy. Reality Check: Sucking his nuts with a halls in her mouth while he eats a steak she prepared perfectly wouldn’t have kept Erica Mena away from her husband. None of that domesticated freaky shit matters to a man who’s mentally restless. Cheating is a fetish that you can’t replicate with porn or with your spouse. These kind of men aren’t looking to make their wives into sluts. The woman they love aren’t who they want to dominate, it’s the new pussy who they want to take their frustration out on. Eliot Spitzer, Tiger, Envy, they went after girls whom they deem beneath them because that’s the kinkiness that turns them on. Men fuck girls they dislike all the time and give them harder dick than they do girls they like because being sexually sadistic didn’t fall with Rome. It’s an ego trip to pull hair and skeet on chicks like they’re nothing, at the same time you’re not going to do those things to wifey because wifey has too much of your respect. Dudes can have rough sex, role play, and choke the women they are with, but it’s not real. Choking a girl they despise and calling her all kinds of whore is an authentic release for whatever issues they are dealing with internally. The male ego loves to dominate but that’s directly in competition with the want for a life partner who’s not weak. Marry the strong women who will put him in his place and properly raise those children, yet he ends up in the hotel room with the hoe who calls him daddy and bags for a facial—that’s always been the seedy underbelly of white and black America. It’s not always about sex, it’s not always about a look, but it is always about some mental desire that men can’t duplicate at home.

it’s like a Kafka short story: you build something but you can’t live in the house because you sit around guarding it. – Rodney Mullen

If cheating is wrong why would he do it if he loves me? Nothing is wrong until you get caught doing it. That’s the morals at play here, not that Nicholas Sparks shit. Let’s be serious, dudes don’t like to admit weakness for anything, let alone another woman. Yeah he’s looking at that ratchet in the mall and saying she’s trifling for having on a skirt three sizes too small, but what you don’t know is that he would fuck that same trifling ratchet with more force than he’s fucked you since you first met. That’s hoe appeal. There is nothing wrong with these thoughts, but if he doesn’t have that Jedi control of his dick, the right hoe in the right place will win out over you and there is nothing you could have done to stop it. Few girls in relationships can grasp that so what we have is all of these women grasping at straws. Some blame themselves and stress out trying to make him content. Others turn a blind eye and accept that he’s just going to cheat, then point to Halle Berry and all the other women who got fucked over, to make themselves feel better. Every woman in a relationship is looking for that trick to keep their man interested. Yes you should show your man attention, affection, communicate, and be spontaneous, those aren’t tricks, those are things you should be doing normally. You can’t wait until he’s being distant to adjust, because by the time you notice that your relationship is having trouble, you’re in trouble. You are two adults in a relationship, so the responsibility is on him just as much as it is on you. The key to helping him be a better and more disciplined man is demanding that he communicates instead of internalizing things like insecurity, boredom, or frustration. The problems aren’t coming from the outside, it’s coming from within. Putting Vaseline on your face and fighting hoes isn’t real love, it’s real basic. Beat up one hoe, another one will be calling his phone next week, curse out two hoes online, three more will pop up in his inbox the next month—he’s the problem, not the bitches. Your job is to love your man, not babysit him. You can’t spend your life trying to guard against what could happen if he’s left alone. The unpopular truth is that a man will always do what he wants to do, and if your love isn’t enough to discipline him, then it’s misplaced on him. How do you compete with hoes? You find a man strong enough not to make them your competition in the first place.

Thanks for reading How To Compete With Hoes

Reading your site makes me afraid to get in a relationship. That annoys the hell out of me. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s just plain old ignorance. Yeah, you may have slept better before you truly knew the level men stooped to in order to get in your pants, but who doesn’t want to be informed? That’s like saying, “Please don’t make sex offenders register. If I found out my neighbor was a rapist, I wouldn’t be so comfortable leaving my door open” sorry to break the news but not knowing doesn’t make you safe, it’s makes you a target. We live in a age where every girl knows a girl who’s been fucked over, and now they are so afraid of falling for the wrong man that they sabotage themselves before even getting to know the guy’s last name.  Women don’t just avoid the men they aren’t attracted to, a lot of them stereotype and avoid the ones they are most attracted to out of fear. He “looks like he’s a player” and you don’t got time for that. What kind of half-ass reasoning is that? You’re afraid of getting hurt based off his zodiac sign, his resemblance to your ex, and the way he makes your heart beat when he looks at you? Grow. The. Fuck. Up.  Fear is a weak emotion based solely on uncertainty. No, you can’t be 100% he doesn’t have a girlfriend. No, you can’t be 100% that he will call after sex. No, you can’t be 100% sure what anyone says is actually the truth when they are trying to get something out of you. Now, you can worry about if he’s going to do you like the last guy did you, your cousin’s boyfriend did her… or you can drive out that weak ass fear and Spartan up.

I don’t write to make women paranoid. My goal is to make you more cautious than you were a week ago, smarter than you were a month ago, and tougher than you were a year ago. There is no shame in being played, being dick whipped, missing red flags, and making the wrong choice, as long as those experiences grow you. Do you want to end up like these bum magnets who were born in the 60’s and still walk around talking about, “men ain’t shit”, or do you want to take your place as an evolved woman who’s smart enough to say, “those men over there ain’t shit—I learned that five years ago. Now meet my husband, Dr. Is Shit”. When I give women insight and relay cautionary tales, you shouldn’t react like fucking Scooby Doo, shivering in the corner every time a handsome guy makes eye contact with you, “Rut roh, Shaggy, he looks like he may bottom bitch me or hit it and run, let’s hide until he’s gone”. This is Spartan boot camp, and I’m like that Drill Sargent in Full Metal Jacket toughing those recruits up. Instead of spewing insults about how you can suck a bowling ball through a garden hose, I’m trying to help you realize your value so these guys can stop treating you like three holes and a warm mouth. I want to turn Recruit Ratchet into someone who will be able to delete the number of a guy who always wants to chill, yet doesn’t want to claim her. I want to turn Private Basica into a stone cold killer, so that when her baby daddy comes knocking on that door after cheating on her, she’ll G-up and tell him to eat a dick, and have the strength to never go back. You won’t make it through my basic training by being basic. So that means no more fear. Spring time is hear, it’s time to throw on your big girl leggings and break free from all the relationship “what if’s” that will keep you from making a real connection.

Run But You Can’t Hide Forever

A man can only disappoint you if you let him. “I can’t control who I fall for”, the hell you can’t. Women can push babies out and hold shits in for three day weekends, you mean to tell me you can’t check your lust for the first four dates? I talk to these women who are all open and in love in less than a month, it’s not because the guy is that amazing it’s because they want what he represents that bad. Of course you’re afraid he’s going to hurt you, you don’t really know that nigga. Would you give a person your ATM pin after three weeks, because you liked the way they smiled and had great conversation? Fuck no! You don’t trust them enough not to rob you, but for some reason you trust those same type of guys enough to fuck you??? Get to know these men, instead of being suckered in by his first month best behavior act. I’ve written on that topic a dozen times. Here’s the problem that’s happening– instead of putting that detective work to the test, some women just stop dating. Dating is too much effort so she becomes celibate, hides in the house like a cat lady, and waits for Scandal to come on. What kind of pathetic shit is that? You want all men to be upfront and honest with you, so until that happens you just won’t play the game… Really? You do know we’ll see flying cars and a third world war before we’ll ever get to the point where guys keep it real. Know who says, “I don’t need a man to be happy“, women who need a man to be happy. Unless you’re a nun, no one believes this anti-man shit you keep preaching, you are upset with those men you’ve come across, but why are you letting your past make you bitter? Get over your immature, “men are just out to hurt me” mentality, and put in the work it takes to separate the boys from the men. You don’t really want to be alone listening to Adele, you want a great guy to prove to you that he’s not like the rest. How can he prove to you that he’s different if you ignore his advances or refuse to speak due to your self-imposed penis exile? Your last boo hurt you… hell your last three boos probably hurt you, but is that the man who asks your name at the supermarket’s fault? No. He could turn out to be from the Ain’t Shit Clan, as well, but if you’ve been up on the things I’ve been trying to drill into you, then you are equipped with the tools to at least weed out the average liars. Men aren’t your enemy, your thirst to be loved is the true culprit that constantly cripples your common sense and allows these losers to infiltrate. It’s up to you to trust in yourself to be smarter than you were the last time you had your heartbroken. Simply giving up on love is unrealistic and cowardly. A confident woman can talk to five guys who “look like players” and not get played because she’s not hard up to the point where she will believe the game he spits and she’s not looking for a man to tell her she’s special in order to feel special. Stop backing down from the challenge because it’s too hard. Scared money don’t make money, and cowardly coochie won’t make it to the chapel.

No Such Thing As Half Way Crooks

Some women get hurt or are just plain afraid of the things they think come with commitment, and instead of swearing off dating and letting her coochie grow cobwebs, they fuck their anxiety away. Erica Mena who I think of as the perfect hoe (we’ll get into that on the next one), had a great teary eyed break down on Love & Hip Hop, where she talked about how she was afraid to give a man her heart after her baby daddy, and now after being hurt by yet another man she was going to go back to being numb. There are so many numb women out here. They are emotionally detached from men to the point where guys are only good for dick, head, money, or entertainment. “Use, but never lower your guard enough to get used like before”, that’s the motto. These women have the same problem as the bitter cat ladies, they want honesty, love, and a man to prove that he’s genuine, but they stand in their own way. How can you find that one special guy if you simply fuck him, then toss him because you think he’s going to do the same thing? How can you give him a chance to prove he’s serious when you play games like you’re into him, only to bluff him out after a month because he’s getting too close? Men hate girls like that because usually they are the most desirable due to the challenge they represent, but they also do the most damage to the male ego when they drop his ass for the next boy toy. A lot of guys will call these women hoes, bitches, or sluts, because they can’t comprehend why a girl would treat them like that when they were legitimately trying to establish something real. These aren’t evil women, they’re damaged, and tired of playing the male game so they make up their own rules to insure they never get hurt. What becomes of these numb girls when they get bored or when they realize they pushed a good guy away? They don’t have an epiphany, they continue down that same path and eventually they stop being numb, and just become dead to the world. Now they’re older, jaded, and unable to really love anyone but themselves because that’s the only person they know how to trust. Ladies, it’s okay to go through your phases, if you want to decide, after Alan cheated on you with your homegirl, that you want to party every night and bust it open to whoever with no strings attached, that’s your prerogative. However don’t act out and become numb, start hoeing, and go down a path that you aren’t built for. You aren’t hurting Alan by having a one night stand with some dirty hood dude, you’re acting out like a brat, and ruining your value. Being emotionally guarded can be a good thing if you know how to control it. Be numb to these dudes with weak ass game and stories of what they can do for you and how they’re different, but don’t get so caught up that you can’t snap out of it once a guy proves to you that he’s worth a shot. Be hard, but not to the point where you aren’t capable of rewarding a person for keeping it real.

Shook Ones

Men lie about how good you look to fuck. Men lie about how different you are to keep fucking. A man will even lie about wanting to marry you, just so he can keep getting whatever it is that he thinks you’re good for. In the end, those frauds will find an exit, leaving you to try to figure out what was a lie and what was authentic. “But he SAID he would never hurt me, why do men do that bullshit!” The same reason people still send spam emails saying they’ll deposit a million in your account if you give them $500– suckers will always fall for it. Take your head out of the sand and be AWARE, but don’t blindly accept that as your fate and live every day paranoid. I had a friend get his car stolen in Mexico, does that mean I should stay the fuck out of Mexico? No, that means I have to be smarter than he was every time I visit, and even after I get comfortable, still remember what could happen. Be ready, not runners. Not all men are dogs, and not all of them are running game, so why let your fear of their worst keep you from seeing their best? You’re not afraid of love, you’re afraid of not being loved, and it’s time to get over that. You can catch an attitude, buy a vibrator, and swear off men for a few years. That doesn’t mean when you come out of that exile, you’re going to find a good one. Most likely you’ll find that there are even more bums than before, and you just wasted two years of good box on your fingers. You could get disenfranchised and start treating these men like hoes, never getting too close, and milking them dry, but how do you decide who’s a trick and who’s legit when you’re trapped in that hoe matrix? These days we call it True Love, because those who came before us dealt with the same dilemma and decided that simply calling it “love” wasn’t clear enough. You’re not the first one to be hurt and confused while trying to figure out the real from the fake, so quit throwing yourself a pity party. Dating has never been easy, and people will never be completely honest, the secret is to face your fear by being equipped to not only survive in this world of fakes but to dominate it by knowing how to spot the real. #SpartanUp

Thanks for reading Afraid To Date

Good looks won’t make a man cheat less or settle faster, and it takes much more than a pretty face to handcuff a heart. However, if you look on the internet you will see lames who look at a static picture and thirstingly claim, “I’d marry that!” without even hearing her voice, seeing her in person, or knowing her HIV status. Alternatively there are these Ain’t All That niggas who live to tear women down. Beyoncé ain’t all that, it’s the makeup. LaLa ain’t all that, her nose is huge. Katy Perry ain’t all that, her eyes are too big. Son, instagram these flawless mythical women that you dip your dick in, because if those are mediocre women, my standards are too damn low. Everyone is funny looking if you stare at them long enough. This internet critiquing is all just pompous bullshit, but it’s far from harmless. It has created this competition where dudes are starting to lie on their dicks more than they lie on their bank accounts. Meanwhile it sends a message to females that if they don’t look better than an airbrushed girl in a magazine then they’re ugly. Some women don’t interact with that many males, so the overblown opinions of guys on her newsfeed makes her think, “all guys think like that”, and if she’s not confident she will start to doubt her looks and develop a complex, even though she’s gorgeous.

On Valentine’s Day I was going into this candy store, I turn around, and this woman was behind me, so I held the door for her… not because I’m a gentlemen, but because I’m a nigga, and not above sneaking a look from the back. She already knew it and told me happy V-day and chit chatted as we walked in. The Esse over by the shelf must have realized that we weren’t together, and as he was scanning the boxes near me, he whispered, “too tall for me dawg, like being with a man”. I didn’t know that woman, but I felt offended. That girl looked like Chanta Patton, was rocking Dior shades, had the type of weave that has you unsure if it is weave, and was confident enough to rock heels even though she was close to six feet without them. Regardless if tall skinny lite bright girls weren’t his type, only a hater would feel a need to verbalize to a complete stranger why they wouldn’t hit. Are you saying you can do better, are doing better, have done better? Or maybe you realize that the girl you go home to doesn’t look fresh off the runway, so tearing down a woman that threatens you makes you feel better about who you’re actually with. It’s like the dummy who says, “I don’t like the new Range Rover” yet he drives a Rav-4 from the year Big Pun died. Your vote of approval is irrelevant homie, so keep that shit to yourself. I appreciate a good “you look like” joke, but these dudes are seriously lying about who they would coochie worship if given the chance. That’s the mentality of a lot of these dudes online, they woman bash because of their own insecurity and intimidation. The irony is that offline those same men are handcuffing the ones they make darkness, bad built, or baby teeth jokes about. In real life no one can see who you get @, and Mr. “she fat not thick” stays buying drinks for girls who look more like Amber Riley than Amber Rose. It’s time to stop fronting!

Chasing Draya

I received an email from a girl who had her “friend” insult her looks then break it off, all in front of another girl who she caught in his dorm room. As I’ve said numerous times, men rarely say things that will hurt a girl’s feelings because they want to keep the door open for later. The words “Stop calling me because you’re not girlfriend pretty” is sexual suicide, so niggas find alternative ways to break it off amicably. This girl’s boo didn’t need to be stealth because he was trying to get brownie points from his new chick, so he aired her out. The email ended with, “Why was he even with me if he didn’t think I was pretty?” And that’s the fucked up thing about guys like that, they do find these girls attractive, but they are deathly afraid that Dante, Poochie, Lil’ Kev, his ex-girl Brandi, his cousin Denise, and Mr. James who plays the organ at church won’t think his girl is pretty. When women see what they judge to be an ugly chick with a handsome man, they are quick to say, “She must suck a good dick and have A1 credit”. That’s not hate, they’re repeating what they’ve heard guys in those situations say. It’s no secret that men use the excuse of money or sex to save face. But her ass phat, but her titties big, but her head’s bomb, but she’s bi-sexual, but she broke five mil on Temple Run without using a save. Weak men feel a need to give a hundred reasons as to why the girl they’re fucking isn’t built like Draya, and that’s pathetic. Nigga you beat off to Pinky and Carmen Hayes not Misty Stone and Skin Diamond, so stop fronting about what you actually like. We all know what default pretty looks like in Black America. That doesn’t mean you have to tie your heart to that. Stop chasing society’s perception of what your dream girl should be, and start embracing the girl’s you actually dream about.

Everyone has their own definition of beauty, it’s like Jay-Z Vs. Nas. You can argue pros while someone else argues cons, but if you are secure in what you like, then nothing an outside party can say will reshape your thinking. However, there are some little boys pretending to be grown men who aren’t confident enough to stand behind their choice in women like a Nas stan would stand behind that Nastradamus CD, flaws and all. Insecure men are more concerned with what everyone else thinks, so they make romantic decisions not to make themselves happy, but to impress people who could care less. Let’s say you like dark chocolate and deadly curves. You find a woman that fits that bill, puts a smile on your face, and an erection in your pants—you should be happy. But the self-appointed beauty critics on twitter have gassed you up to think that unless your chick looks like Video Girl #8 from the French Montana video, then you’re not winning. Simple minds are easily influenced, and these new niggas are so worried about getting hood approval that they hide their real girl in the house then come to the barbershop talking about, “All I fuck is Megan Goods”. Right now there are countless men sleeping with women they don’t think are sexy enough to show off to friends or living with girls who they don’t think are pretty enough to walk down the aisle with. No matter if she’s your unofficial official girl who you sequester or a side hoe you smuggle, you pursued her because something about her turned you on. Do you not want her because she doesn’t emotionally satisfy you or do you not want her because of how you will be perceived if you show up at a party with her? If you’re more embarrassed than in love, then why are you wasting your time in the first place? That Geico Pig passed up pussy to play Fruit Ninja, are you telling me that you’re that horny that you can’t resist someone you consider busted? Be better than that, and don’t end up breaking the heart of a woman who is beautiful on the inside because you are afraid that the rest of the world won’t be impressed by what’s on the outside.

I’d hit it… but I wouldn’t wife it

Some guys don’t care about the opinions of others, but still hold a girl’s looks against her. The term “wifey material” has nothing to do with her ability to cook and clean, spoiled niggas have mothers who can hook a steak up and do laundry. It’s a term that means that a girl is a trophy. A lot of guys aren’t smooth enough, attractive enough, or rich enough to get the attention of those women they label as flawless. So the conundrum becomes, what do you do when presented with a girl that’s cute but not girlfriend cute. Hit it but don’t wife it, is the unsaid law of man. Someone wrote that McDonalds has served over a billion, yet Ruth Chris has barely served a million, and that mindset is why you saw eligible NBA ballers in the club during All-Star cuffing busted Brendas. Quality over quantity has become a lost art, and fast food pussy does exist. Most guys choose girls based strictly off sexual availability and convenience. The problem with that is you will get lazy, stop looking for the meal you were really after, and end up stuck with her. I’m sure the men reading this are like, “If I got to tell a Jada Kiss looking hoe that she looks like Jada Pinkett-Smith, so be it, her ass is dumb phat and I’m going through a drought” Son, the nut is not worth the risk. As a man there will be times when you talk to girls who don’t wow you and the moral dilemma will be, should I still try to fuck or should I just keep it moving. When you’re young and full of cum, it’s not a choice, you take the pussy and pretend it never happened. As you grow older you have to be more thoughtful of a woman’s feelings, as well as the potential to trap yourself with someone that will never make you happy. If she’s not good enough to show off in the daylight, then don’t pipe it at night. That’s a rule I started when I was 22 and while you may have to pass up easy sex with girls with low esteem, it protects you in case you do get caught up, because while there is always a chance for relationship drama, it will now center on being dissatisfied with her personality, not her looks.

Let’s say you started fucking a girl you weren’t impressed with because you were bored or maybe it was to regain your self-esteem, but not only were her titties fantastic, her conversation was even better. Now you actually like her! She ruined your hit and run game plan by actually being an awesome woman, and now you’re stressed because physically she’s still a fast food type girl. You have to start thinking with your other head first. One night turns into six months, just friends turns into go together, and the next thing you know a girl you are ashamed of has you whipped. You’re untagging yourself from Facebook posts and pretending that you don’t know how to update your relationship status. Super Saiyan Started From The Bottom All I Rock Is Foams Dime Dicking Nigga has now become Eat At The Olive Garden Furthest Away Because Someone May See Me Cuffing Precious Nigga. Whose fault is that? She didn’t force you to call her, she didn’t pay you to have sex with her… maybe she did buy them J’s, but she didn’t make you come through and chill, laugh, and have fun. It’s only a matter of time before you hurt that woman by leaving her for someone you think is prettier or worse, get her pregnant. Be responsible and show some discipline. This isn’t high school or college where running up in everything with a clit is encouraged, you’re in the big leagues now. The moment a man lays eyes on a woman he knows whether or not she looks good enough to be with or just good enough to bust in. If you see her as just a box, then don’t take her number in the first place. Stop being lazy, step your game up, and hold out for the type of girl you can be proud to show off.

Now That You Know…

For the ladies, stop placating these frauds. If he’s willing to pull his dick out for you, but won’t pull a pic out of you, you’re being played. Stop giving your all to someone who wouldn’t even qualify you to enter into his bad bitch contest. It’s not enough for him to just say you’re beautiful, he has to treat you like it morning, noon, and night. Sneaking you around, erasing all traces of you from his phone, only allowing a few people to even know you exist, that’s not love, that’s the plot of Zero Dark Thirty. It doesn’t matter how the internet thinks you rank against the flavor of the week or how anyone thinks you look for that matter. You have to be able to see your own beauty first. Once you accept that you are just as pretty as the next woman, then your standards will rise, and you will never allow a man to treat your pussy like a drive thru again. Vagina isn’t a precious metal, it’s abundant, which means that while a man may have approached you for what’s between your legs, there had to be something outside your panties that pulled him towards you, and not the other girl in the room. Embrace that rarity and let it boost your confidence. You are more than his self-esteem nut and more than his placeholder, you are beautiful and deserve to be treated like the ultimate trophy.

Thanks for reading She’s Not Girlfriend Pretty

People love to spew the cliché of “everyone deserves a second chance” and forgiveness is what a good person practices. Bullshit. Not everyone deserves a second chance and not knowing when to walk away will rob you of the best years of your life. One more chance turns into two more chances followed by one last chance. How many times do you need the same person to piss in your mouth before you figure out urine doesn’t taste good? Let’s say you’ve had an up and down relationship with a guy, he’s lied and cheated, and finally you two split. He’s sick without you, begs like a puppy dog, and three weeks after swearing him off, you’re reconsidering. Your mother tells you that everyone deserves a chance, your best friend tells you that nigga still ain’t shit. Which advice do you take? Your mother’s older and wiser, so she’s always right… Hell no, she’s probably been dumbed out by your daddy and is still paying the price for giving that nigga endless chances. Your friend is giving you the best advice, but when you’re in love anything that doesn’t end with, “Go ahead and take him back”, is hating. People love the idea of one more chance, not because it’s morally sound, but because it gives them permission to choose with their heart instead of their head. When you want someone so bad, you will pull weak ass celebrity examples out of your ass, biblical quotes, and even place the blame on your own attitude. Some situations are unique and do deserve a chance to work itself out. The fucked up thing is that every girl thinks that her situation is special, her guy is different, and she can make anything work. To get played when you thought that your love was real and that you were the greatest woman in the world is embarrassing. However, is the sickening pain you feel a result of true love or the humbling effect of failure?

All women want a man that acts like this, looks like that, and has racks. When a girl finally finds someone who sort of meets some of those qualities, she jumps on him and prematurely closes shop because she’s sick of waiting. Limited options will make even the most desired woman settle for less, and once that happens, tunnel vision occurs. This guy in front of you isn’t perfect, but it took you so long to find him that it makes him the best option by default. Men like this don’t come around often, so I better be thankful, lower my standards, and make it work by any means necessary. You dated other guys but none like him, therefore he’s who god wants you to be with, who you are destined to marry, and all you need to do is weather the storm and you’ll win out. Womp Womp. Keep it real, you’ve probably dated from the same pool of losers since you were sixteen, you finally went to a lake in your 20′s, and think just because that catch was better than what you’re used to, he’s heaven sent. You’re settling and you haven’t even made it to the ocean yet! It’s this perceived lack of options and want to make a toxic relationship work that keeps so many women running back and repeating the same bullshit scenario with the same bullshit men. There are countless men out here that aren’t trying to just fuck and play games, but you won’t meet them if your ego and heart keep you chained to the past.

Want Vs. Need

I’m me, therefore I get what I want. That kind of brat ass mentality is not only responsible for people living above their means, it causes people to enter into bad relationships then desperately hold on to them. I hear it all the time: I don’t chase’em I replace’em, ask about me. If I wanted him as my boyfriend he would be that, ask about me. After I put this pussy on him he ain’t going nowhere, ask about me! You’ve never replaced anybody, no one knows who the fuck you are, and your pussy doesn’t have a cult following. That kind of inflated ego that makes you think you can turn any man into the hubby type will turn you into the desperate type. You meet a guy you think is handsome, crush on him, and since you are Shine Bright Like A Diamond No Filter Red Bottom Boss Bitch and you always get what you want, you proclaim that Chris Brown Junior is going to be your new man and set out to prove how great you are by not only getting him but keeping him. The rude awakening happens when that guy who you must have, isn’t impressed with your looks and swag, the same way the thirst buckets are. Your ego can’t take that so instead of proving to him what an awesome woman you are through conversation– you fuck him. Basic bitches swear a shot of their coochie will bring any man to their knees. Your pussy isn’t magical, it’s a crutch that you’re using because you don’t have anything else to barter with. When dealing with any man you have to ask yourself: Who is he really and why does he deserve me. You’re too fucking old to be having, “he got pretty eyes, I want him to be my boyfriend” thoughts. A sensible person wouldn’t impulsively rush after something just becomes it looks good on the surface. These niggas are used cars, and girls get so open off the candy paint and shiny rims that they forget to kick the tires and check the mileage. It doesn’t matter if he has four kids by four women, sells drugs, and has anger management issue, he looks good and you want that. Just like the idiot that goes and buys a ten year old car with 200k miles on it because it has a BMW logo, you’re going to get fucked in the end.

The difference between a girl and a woman is the maturity to recognize what you need in your life as opposed to want. A dumb girl goes out and buys Beyoncé tickets that cost more than what she makes in two weeks, just so she can say, “I breathed the same air as Bey!” A smart woman is probably a bigger fan, but recognizes that her heat staying on for the rest of the winter is more important than Idol worshipping the box that Matthew built. That same “Want Want Want” mentality will cause a dumb girl to go through relationship hell because she is obsessed with having that bum nigga and doesn’t understand the concept of incompatibility. A smart woman recognizes when her kindness has been taken for weakness, and is strong enough walk away no matter how infatuated, in like, in love, or whatever she is with that bum. You need stability, honesty, and commitment, but you don’t know how to get that from the type of men you’re into so you end up like that Puerto Rican chick on Black Ink, fucking your crush in the back room and hoping that your pussy is good enough to get that stability, honesty, and commitment the day after. You need a man who can stand on his own feet and be your partner, but you end up supporting a man for years hoping that your loyalty is good enough to make him put a ring on it, only to see him walk right out of your life once he does land on his feet. Stop hustling backwards. Pussy can’t lasso love and loyalty is often a one way street. If you’re chasing behind a man who won’t give you a straight answer about a relationship or constantly breaking up and getting back with a guy who routinely fucks you over, then it’s time to reevaluate his true value. What do you need that only he can provide? Nothing. Dick, companionship, looks, money, that shit isn’t as rare as you think if you actually get off your ass and meet people. You don’t need him, he’s just convinced you that you do.

Dick Silly

On and off relationships are for teenagers and weaklings. Every time I hear some wide eyed Basica regurgitate, “love is worth fighting for” I want to laugh. You’re the only one fighting, you fool. What you have isn’t love, it’s dependency. The sweetest joy next to getting pussy isn’t revenge, it’s manipulation. He cheats for adventure because you’re boring him. You act out but he knows you’re bluffing when you say you’re leaving him. He kisses your ass, talks about suicide, and promises to change not because he’s crazy in love, but because he’s experimenting with his control over you, seeing which button he can push to get you back in check. Manipulating a woman into opening her heart and legs back up is just as exciting as getting new pussy because it takes real strategy and makes us feel like geniuses. Oh you met a new dude who owns his own business and treats you like a queen—watch how easy I turn on the tears, get back in that pussy, and fuck that new nigga’s number right out of your phone #DontBelieveMeJustWatch. That’s not a joke, men thrive on that kind of challenge. Niggas get bored early and often, and although we claim we hate drama, playing with a chick’s emotions is our favorite pastime. In high school we all learn “the secret”: A girl will put up with things that she swears she would never put up with if you can convince her that you’re invaluable. As we grow into men we’re able to tell which women are really, “not for play” and which are dick silly. A dick silly girl wants you so bad that she thinks she needs you. Our job as men is to keep her pussy open and her head gassed, so even when we fuck the next girl, she won’t really break up because she views us like we’re oxygen—a necessity. One of my favorite anonymous quotes from a homie is, “That bitch ain’t going nowhere”. It’s the real life Jedi mind trick, wave a dick in her face, calmly proclaim that you love her, and she’s as docile as a Stormtropper.

It kills you not to be talking to him. You want to change everything about yourself to make him want you again. He understands you and is your everything! Why so serious? Because he texts you emoji’s every morning? Because he listened to you complain about family issues and said, “it’s okay, baby“? Because he’s the first lightskin nigga that’s shown you attention offline? Where’s the real proof that he actually cares? Why do you have to yell, curse, and cry for him to show you respect? Right now there are women reading this who have been hurt by the men they love multiple times. She’s stopped answering his calls, she hasn’t cried in a few days, and she tells everyone that it’s really over this time. But as soon as he calls talking all low and sweet, reminiscing about the good times, and telling her how good her pussy used to taste, their lame ass relationship will be on again. By summer it will be off again. By fall it will be on again. What kind of love keeps resetting on a quarterly basis? Everyone argues and goes through drama, but the bullshit some of you go through is above and beyond growing pains. Real love isn’t a rollarcoaster, it’s a fucking tank. If a man really loves you he wouldn’t be making the same mistakes every few months. Are you going to really buy into the sob story that he was confused? That he’s the victim of a hoe conspiracy? That all he need is for you to mother him and he’ll do better? Bitch bye. You’re trapped in a game of Grand Theft Auto: Dick Silly City, and that man you think can’t live without has the controller in his hand.

You Never Needed Him

He’s the one for me, we talked about getting married, I never had someone who I felt this strongly about, and I know this time will be different. Send me your PayPal email so I can deposit a clue. If he was really your soul mate, he wouldn’t be trying to mate other souls. He wouldn’t lie about any and everything. He wouldn’t be trying to fuck the same girl you forgave him for trying to fuck last year. You didn’t do your homework and you chose the wrong man, it happens, and it’s okay to fail. He can have several positive traits that you love, but they will never outweigh two negatives—dishonesty and disrespect. Let’s look at the real reason you’re afraid to let go—perception. You’re ready to give him his 4^th chance to do right because you don’t want to seem like a girl who wasn’t good enough to keep her man from leaving. You don’t want to seem like just another girl who couldn’t get her baby daddy to marry her. You want to be like Rihanna, who had her true love come back and prove himself, but the odds are that you’re going to be more like Keyana,the girl who had her true love come back and give her another STD. You’ve set up this perfect life in the mind of your family, friends, and instagram followers that you are the most incredible woman in the world and to go back to being single will shatter that false reality. Who gives a fuck what other people think? Sticks and stones break bones, but those “bitch, where’s your man” jokes only hurt if you have fucks to give. What makes you special is that unlike a lot of these birds, you actually have respect for yourself. You actually have your priorities in order. You are mature enough to pass up what you want in order to get what you need. Should you give him one more chance? If you spend more time crying than smiling then you already know the answer. Just because that decision makes you fell ashamed, embarrassed, and depressed, doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong choice. Those feelings are temporary and worth going through if it frees you from his grip. This man keeps setting fire to the house and you keep grabbing the extinguisher because this is the best crib you’ve ever been in and don’t want to lose it. That house is a dump, and only after you let it burn will you be able to step away and see that there are still mansions on the market. You can’t put that guy’s personality in that guy’s body and you can’t train any man to be honest. Don’t be a slave to your dreams of marriage, your thirst for a cuddle buddy, and your egotistical desire to prove that you can make anything work. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right, know when to walk away.

Thanks for reading It’s Time To Let Go