Men have bad taste in women. I’m not talking about the physical, dudes can pick out shallow beauty eyes closed like Ray Charles gripping a wrist; the taste many guys struggle with is personality. When given a choice between two equally attractive women, one whose nice, sweet, and has her head on straight and another whose aggressive, confrontational, and doesn’t know where the hell her life is headed, most men will side with the bat shit crazy female. Dudes channel their inner J. Cole and say they ain’t heroic enough to save hoes, but as soon as one of these damaged females walks by, they’re ripping open their shirt like Clark Kent in a phone booth. Men lie, dicks don’t! On the surface, I can shake my head at the entire cast of the Bad Girls Club and say, “who would want any of these insecure whores,” but internally I’d be lying if I said that little passive aggressive ratchet twin didn’t make me tingle. Men are attracted to all kinds of women that we would never take home to moms, who are littered with red flags, but egotistically we still think we can make it work. Nah. Every man knows a man or is a man that’s chosen the wrong woman and it turns their heart cold. With maturity comes the power to understand negative attraction, and the wisdom to avoid it. The problem is most men have the maturity of a High School senior and egos that keep them choosing girlfriends the same way they choose favorite porn stars. These dishonest dudes will sit and tell you that a good women is worth a thousand hoes, but it’s been proven that one hoe will get deeper in his heart than a thousand good women will.
So what’s really at the heart of these bad choices? What do men crave more than new pussy? Control of that pussy. Shorty doesn’t act right, so we want to make her submit and act right. It’s that simple! Bad girls, damaged girls, insecure girls they don’t play by the rules of your average “please love me” chick who submits without much effort. There are so many of these, “Let me cook you dinner and suck your dick after a month of exchanging texts,” Relationship Girls whose only goal in life is to play wifey to a nigga. There’s nothing wrong with that… but it’s boring. We live in a world of easy to fuck Bae Chasers who get open off the most basic game. Men will take convenient pussy any day of the week, but getting ass from a thirsty chick gets old fast! Captain Ahab wants to chase Moby Dick, not be given tickets to see Shamu. To run up against a woman that doesn’t give up that control easily is like putting blood in a shark tank, it’s that mouthwatering excitement that he’s been waiting for: Finally a woman that isn’t impressed! That’s the Unicorn men want, not the fake “it takes a lot to win me over” chick that talks a good game but who you smash in less than a month without ever dating. Those girls are a dime a dozen, which is why those girls will always struggle to get a man to take them serious, they’re all talk. However, the real Unicorns, or those that act atypical are the ones we men have trouble with, because they go left where other girls go right. I’ve always known that women who can act indifferent were supremely powerful, and when I was researching Ho Tactics, all the girls I interviewed confirmed that the foundation of their power was built on that same egotistical need men have to conquer the impossible. Date a girl for weeks, drop mad money, and she falls back with no explanation—I need her! She fucked me, but didn’t want to fuck me again afterwards—I love her. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said, “I’m cool”—I want to marry her! Show a man a mountain he can’t climb, he’ll die trying to climb it.
Most of you ladies have that one platonic male friend who has his pick of women, yet always ends up with these Ain’t Shit birds no matter how much you say, “You can do better than her.” It’s not that men are attracted to emotionally available women, it’s not about the woman at all, it’s about a man’s ego. The challenge of taming a woman that reacts to your dick game with a shrug or reacts to you spilling your heart out with a, “You done yet? Scandal about to come on,” lights a fire that only someone with a penis could understand fully. A woman that’s hard to get is Viagra for the male soul. And when I say “hard to get” I’m not talking about a girl that makes him wait three months to fuck, those 90 Day hoes are a dime a dozen, I mean emotionally hard to get. Ladies, when you break up with a guy and you really put your foot down as if it’s over, you tend to see a completely new side of a man you thought you knew. He shows attributes that make you fall in love all over again. Why? When a man is told he can’t have something, he may bitch and moan, but the more you push away, the harder he pulls forward with a new bag of tricks to win you back. Most of you fall for those tricks, give in, and then watch as he goes back to not giving a fuck. Ex-boyfriends usually have temporary quests to win you back because it’s not YOU that they want back, it was just the high of trying to prove that he could get you back. Men want what they can’t have, and then once they get it, they look for the next challenge. To be a woman that he never truly gains control of will keep him sniffing around, keep him in his feelings, keep him tricking, and keep him obsessed because the joy of a good woman that just wants to love him makes him restless, while the idea of taming that which can’t be tamed makes him feel alive.
I know a guy who had a longtime girlfriend, I actually met him through her, and one night he got Thotnotized by this girl we met at Jillian’s. A month later I see his now ex-girlfriend and find out that homeboy had broken up with her for the Jillian Thot. Where the story gets interesting is that he never actually got the Jillian Thot to commit to him. For the next TWO years this nigga chased this hoe, and even proposed marriage to her. His ex-girlfriend became the “stupid nice girl” who was there to pick up the pieces every time he needed an ego stroke. Mind you this was a woman that owned a home, had a great career, but NEVER got proposed to like the Jillian Thot. Years later she finally talked to me about how she played the Bottom Bitch for dude, and I’ll never forget her words, “Y’all would rather trade a diamond for dirt, and we’re the ones left feeling guilty.” She was half right, men do feel guilt and regret, but it takes them an insane amount of time before they swallow pride and admit where they went wrong. I have a few guys who are older than me who I give advice to, and they are sick with regret because they became obsessed with the chase. Just like there are great women that waste their prime years trying to keep the Wrong man happy, there are great men that waste their 20’s and even 30’s trying to put a saddle on women that can’t be saddled. In the end they end up settling for what they can get at 40 because it took them that long to figure out what they should have figured out at 25– you can’t turn a woman that’s happy being K. Michelle into a Michelle Obama.
Brothers of all ages, I want to talk to you today. I see too many of you hunting with your dicks and not your brains, and in the end you’re going to pay the price for trying to FIX a broken woman.
The Girl Who’s Still In Love With Her Ex
So you think you can walk into a hurt girl’s life, sweep her off her feet, dick her down, and make the memory of her ex-boo fade like LeBron’s hairline—Ha! I don’t care how good looking you are, how much money you have, and what new pussy eating technique you developed, the only thing that can make a woman get over her last man is that woman. It’s not about what he does better than you or what you don’t’ do that he does, it’s about the heart wanting what the heart’s used to. As men we often create competition where there is none to be had, and there is nothing more competitive than being better than another man romantically or sexually. That lovesick girl you’re trying to court will add fuel to your egotistical fire by telling you all the ways you’re superior to her ex. C’mon son, you already know her game; she’s trying to convince herself that you’re better in order to feel good about moving on. Miss Heartbreak is going to go out with you and compliment you on how you pick better restaurants than her last man. She’s going to inhale those good morning texts and tell you how more romantic you are than her last man. You two are going to sit up talking half the night, and shorty is going to confess how you understand her more than her last man. Before your ego breaks out in a fit of “Bobby Bitch!” Understand that her words are hollow. Hurt women have a nasty habit of faking contentment in order to deflect disappointment. I’ve had girls tell me, “I tried to make the new guy work, but it never felt the same,” more times than Bill Cosby’s slipped Ruthies in drinks. These women aren’t trying to play you against him, they’re trying to use you to take their mind off of the man that’s still in control of her heart.
Girls are told weeks after a breakup to go out and date because their insensitive ass friends don’t understand the healing process. They shave their coochie, get a new hairstyle, and go out ready to bounce back with a vengeance. They fake Spartan Up, and for one night only they aren’t shy or afraid, so they pull a guy like you: Someone that’s most likely better looking or more successful than their ex, in an attempt to say to the world, “See, I can do better!” Her ass doesn’t want to do better, she wants to go back. This entire “rebound” experiment with you is just an act. Miss Heartbreak will smile across from you at a fancy dinner wishing it was Lazy Donald, who used to make her split Chipotle because his check was short. She will close her eyes while she rides you, wishing it was Goon Greg’s dick, because even half limp it felt like home. She will spoon in the bed with you all night, and wish it was Cheating Calvin checking his Snapchat behind her back, because even though he wasn’t shit, he was the love of her life. It takes months for most women to get over love, if not years, and no matter what you do, you can’t rush that process. Instead of trying to overcompensate for the pain he’s put her through by playing Superman, you need to do your homework. We as men are so full of lust that we forget to properly interview a woman. As you get older, you can’t go running into the pussy battlefield as if you can’t be hurt, you need to check your own emotions, and proceed with caution. It’s not about getting pussy that makes you happy for the night, it’s about connecting with a real person that can make you happy for life. I don’t care how fat her ass is sitting or how pretty that smile shines, you can’t lay it all on the line for the physical alone. A lot of younger dudes can’t tell Wifey from Pussy, and that’s okay for now, but at least be able to use the first two dates to tell if she’s fully healed or still healing.
For instance, a woman who talks more about her ex than about herself, is still healing. If you ask the chick about what she does for a living, and she says, “I’m working Customer Service for Comcast, but I had to take two weeks off because my ex kept calling my job…” Don’t call her ass No More! Any simple question that leads to a long ass story about her ex doing her wrong, her exes baby mama doing her wrong, or her exes mother doing her wrong, is not a red flag… It’s a fucking nuclear mushroom cloud—Run Nigga! The argument in your mind will be, “Oh, I’ve been through a bad breakup too, I can help her get over it.” No. You. Can’t! Only she can get over it. Sure you can assist, but true healing only happens when she is ready to move on. All the great things you do, she appreciates… but she wishes it was her Ex doing those things you did, and if she could swap who he is with how you act, that would be the perfect life, because she isn’t in a the right space to see that you are the right man. I’m not saying give up immediately, if she seems like she’s close to being healed and the relationship was six months ago, then give it a shot, but only if she’s showing effort. However, don’t do it for your own sense of accomplishment. Pride will make it less about her, and more about you having to prove to her that you are better than the last guy, and that’s not the kind of pressure any relationship should start with. Next thing you know you’re finding text messages from a number that’s supposed to blocked, “Had a good time last night, hit me when he ain’t around.” That kind of hurt will turn you into the old you, and you can only blame yourself for pushing for someone that was never going to be right for you.
The Girl Who Has Trust Issues
I remember I told a female friend that I was going to call her back, and her response was, “Are you really going to call me back?” In my mind it was like, you’re not my girl, why would I have to lie if I didn’t want to call you back… but I was reminded how most women operate—they don’t trust shit ANY man says, no matter the relationship. Fellas, we take for granted what game has done to women in general. Their fathers have lied to them, saying they would come take them to the park, but the nigga never showed up. Their male friends have lied to them, saying they would go to the movies, but canceled because real pussy popped up. The biggest hurt however has been from their boyfriends who have made huge promises that never came true. By the time a woman reaches the age of 25, 80% of the men she’s dealt with will have lied to her in some fashion. As an honest man you can go at these Trust Issue girls and say, “I’m not like the rest,” but guess what? All those past men have said the exact same things. “I swear. I promise. Please trust me.” When a woman’s mind is made up that ALL MEN LIE, you can’t win her over by not lying. Her trust issues are deeper than your actions. Convincing her that you are different is a process of being patient enough to let her address her insecurity while also being understanding enough not to be offended when she accuses you of being dishonest. At the same time you have to know when you’ve spent enough time trying to Oliver Queen her ass, and understand when it’s time to leave her problems for the next man to deal with.
Have you ever tried to prove to a woman that she can trust you? She will give you the benefit of the doubt that ONE time, and once you come through and prove you are a man of your words, she’ll be happy… but proving yourself will never end. Wait a week, and let you have to cancel a plan or get held up somewhere, and her insecurity will roar back. Let’s say you were supposed to spend the night with her and drive to Six Flags in the morning. Your brother needed your help, so you tell Miss Trust Issues that you won’t be able to spend the night, but will pick her up in the morning. In a male’s mind, that’s you trying to be there for someone in need, yet still making sure you honor your first commitment. In a male’s mind, you did the right thing… BUT! In the mind of a woman who has been hurt before, it’s all bullshit. Lies are the norm in her world, so although you proved yourself last week, her paranoia had already kept those defenses armed like, “Wait for it, he’s just like the rest!” An overactive mind will feed that woman toxic thoughts: He didn’t have to help his brother, he was fucking some other girl that his brother probably hooked him up with. He didn’t want to spend the night because he doesn’t like having sex with you anymore. He wants to come in the morning because he doesn’t want to spend too much time with a girl he’s only using for sex. All of these psychotic thoughts run through her mind, and there is nothing as a man you can say on the phone to make it better, because at that moment when her fear takes hold, you aren’t the guy who has been showing love, you become every man that has let her down! By the time you get there in the morning, she doesn’t want to go anywhere. Here’s the real crazy thing, as men we know how to defuse crazy chicks, because all we do is either kiss their ass or bark back at them, then follow it up with sex. Now she’s apologizing about not trusting you, and you think it’s all good… until next week when she sees the cousin of your ex-girlfriend like your Instagram picture and then it becomes another fight.
My niggas, I don’t care how good of a woman she has the potential to become, if you two are going through the argue-explain-fuck-forgive cycle every month then that relationship will never work. I don’t care how sexy Harley Quinn looks, Batman’s smart enough not to put his dick in her, because it will never end well! I talk a lot about women addressing their issues, but one big thing I always leave out is the men that condone their insecure and nutty behavior by continuing to date and fuck them as if they are normal. These women are not normal, and if you don’t have the balls to talk to her like a man that wants her to get over those past issues, then do that girl a favor and leave her waiting for someone that has the patience and know how to help her want to do better.
The Girl Who Just Wants To Fuck & Be Seen
When Jay-Z said, “Goddamn she’s fine but she parties all the time,” he put into words what a lot of men were thinking, and that line is especially relevant in today’s world where insecure women feel as if they’re one filter and ass shot away from being the next Erica Mena. I think a woman has the right to be as trashy or as classy as she wants, it’s her body so she can show it off in the manner she feels. However, what this “Look at me” attention based society has done to men is create a growing animosity towards girls who just want to have fun. Take to twitter or any of these gossip site message boards and you will see grown ass men bitter as fuck, talking about how a girl wears her weave or how much makeup she has on… my nigga, when did we start being experts on foundation and edges??? It’s not about women wearing slutty clothes and wilding out in the club on a Tuesday, it’s about the hurt felt by the men that want to love these types of women, but suddenly feel as if they can’t compete with internet “likes.”
As men, we want to control things—the remote control, the car radio, the outcome of football games, we just can’t stand leaving shit out of our hands. However, as we get deeper into the 21st century, there is one thing we won’t be able to control the same way we controlled in the 20th century—women. There are women who don’t want your last name, just your dick—you mad or nah? A young homie who I was talking to made it seem like it wasn’t fair that he was trying to commit to a girl that would rather hit the clubs with her hoeish friends. I had to break it down to him like I’m going to break it down to all of you guys: The same way we as men can fall back when a girl wants too much and we just want to enjoy life, women also have the right to fall back when you try to handcuff them and all they want is fun. Womankind isn’t this generic box of emotionally sensitive, baby wanting, wedding planning, softies who wait around for a man to choose them. We are living in the age of the Spartan where these women will use you as a placeholder until she’s ready for premium dick. There are also women who for the first time feel pretty because of Instagram and they are no longer willing to settle for the best available man, they want to experience life dating multiple men. This isn’t the year 1814, females can choose to just have sex, to just date, or to never get married at all! If she sees you as money, nigga you’re money. If she sees you as sperm, nigga you’re sperm. If she sees you as winter throwaway dick, you’re gone come April! If that makes you feel small or marginalized, then do what I tell these love sick women to do, move the fuck on. Again it’s male ego that makes you want to force the issue until you get what you want, hoping your effort breaks her down until she sees that you are the right man. Fucdatbitch! Don’t slut shame, don’t throw a fit, don’t take it out on the next woman, move the fuck on and find a woman that’s on the same page mentally!
The Girl That Turns Your Heart Cold
One of my homegirls was amazed that men actually go through so much internal drama with these Ms. Wrongs, because in her experience ex-boyfriends and associates never said anything about the past that pointed to real hurt. No shit! We as men can never be made to look weak, dumb, or foolish, so to the rest of the world, it’s “I Fuck hoes and get money.” That’s a mask, because nearly every man walking this earth has chased a whale that couldn’t be caught, attempted to climb a mountain that sent him crashing to the bottom, or to put it in ratchet terms, fucked with a bitch that wouldn’t reciprocate. It’s a normal part of life for a man, but males don’t want to talk about feelings. You don’t have to open up to the outside world, but you must be honest with yourself. If you couldn’t get a girl to get over her last man and be the woman you wanted—that doesn’t mean you’re less of a man. If you’re in love with a woman that can’t let go of her issues enough to trust you based on your actions—that doesn’t mean you keep torturing yourself to make it work. You’re not a simp if you fall in love with a Hoe or you miss the signs that a girl has Daddy Issues, but you become a simp if you allow a woman to drop lemons in your arms daily and you keep making lemonade for the bitch. She’s not the one for you, she’s just the one you want for you—difference. It’s not about settling for lesser looking women, get what you want physically, but spend just as much time obsessing over her character.
Some bitter women love to suck their teeth with a “Men need to stop choosing hoes, it’s that simple,” but no man actually chooses a hoe consciously, they choose girls who are different from the typical moist coochie, yet dry conversation having Bae Chasers, and there is nothing wrong with going for these explosive personalities that blow you away, IF you’re smart about it. I’m not one of these clowns that will pander to women by telling his fellow man to go settle down with a “good and safe” woman that can raise a family and bake chicken, fuck that June Cleaver shit. “Good” is subjective and “Safe” is defeating. I understand that an exciting woman can make time stand still and feels better emotionally than any boring yet sweet woman, but choose your roller-coaster wisely. She was special, she was beautiful, she felt like a once in a lifetime catch, but her positives will never outweigh her negatives. Men suffer in silence, but we still suffer. Know when to let go, not just physically, but emotionally. Don’t become a reflection of the person that breaks your heart, become a reflection of the lessons you learned from that person. You don’t suddenly discover Ms. Right at a certain age, you develop the ability to see who is truly Ms. Right by surviving all the Ms. Wrongs life throws at you.