“I have my own crib, nice car, and no kids. Every man should want me but why don’t they?” is a general question I get at least once a week. There is a misconception that because a woman is independent and doing well that a man would choose her over a broke chick who lives at home with her mother and has baby daddy drama. Here is the reality check: Bum bitches stay winning because the average man could care less about a woman’s net worth. Common sense would dictate that we men should strive to have a relationship with a woman with ambition and a career, but that’s rarely the case. We don’t want to fuck shorty because she has a Benz, we want to fuck shorty because of how she looks. It’s the Cinderella effect, men don’t care where you come from, we’re more concerned about how sexy you looked when you walked into that room. The Prince will pass up all of these equally powerful women for a woman who was going nowhere fast because men hunt for trophies, not partners.
So why can a man fall in love with a loser and live happily ever after and a woman can’t? Because women need more than a pretty face and good sex to be TRULY happy. I’ve heard so many stories from women who have been with guys for years and their main complaint isn’t cheating, or being used, it’s the fact that their men aren’t doing shit with their lives. If a guy fucks you and never calls, you learn and become a wiser person. If a man pops in and out of your life using you, eventually you will smarten up and stop being his victim. But to be crazy in love with a guy who is content being at the bottom will create lifelong problems. He will tell you he loves you, he will marry you, and he will give you kids, but he will also stay at the same pay level, waste money on dumb shit, and blame others for his lack of success until the day he dies. To love a man with no ambition or drive is like having an adult kid who refuses to move out of the basement. Is that really the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
No Romance Without Finance
Women have all of these rule breakers but as soon as a nigga whispers in her ear with a baritone voice those rules get replaced by a Kool-Aid smile and moist panties. Let’s forget about all the superfluous rules like “he has to be yay tall and without kids”, and get to the most important rule every woman in the world should have before they even agree to go on a date—Does the nigga have gainful employment. The #1 way to prevent falling in Love With A Loser is to recognize what kind of person he is before you become exclusive. If he’s not going to school, I’m talking full time; not taking one class at community to keep his mother off his back, homie should have a J.O.B. No Romance Without Finance should be tatted above your vagina so you never forget this simple yet effective rule. I don’t care how cute you think the nigga is or what excuse he gives you as to why he’s not working, a grown man who relays on favors, handouts, or old lawsuit money to live isn’t going anywhere in life. How are you going to explain to your friends that you can’t go on that cruise because your boyfriend is almost out of the money he won in a car accident 14 years ago? Girls talk about, “I do this for my man, I do that for my man, I’m a good woman“, but what the fuck is your man doing for you besides half eating your coochie and taking you fine dining at McDonalds one a week? It’s not about how much money he is making right now, it’s about him working towards making more in the near the future. Not everyone is going to be rich in life, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay at the bottom. There is always a job available, but most dudes think they are too good to flip burgers or stock shelves. The people who are too good for those jobs are called “college educated” and if you were too lazy to get a higher education or learn a trade, you can’t complain about entry-level positions. “The Economy Bad” is the most bullshit excuse in the world. How is a nigga going to complain about the economy but he got on new Jordan’s and pre-orders every PS3 game? Our Economy can’t be that bad if your ass is giving money to Nike and Sony. If you let a man think its okay to be lazy and feed into his conspiracy theory that the Republicans, Illuminati, and Haters are holding him back from filling out applications then you’re just as dumb as he is. Yall need to start telling these clowns like my wife told me a long time ago, “I cost“.
A Fool & His Money
You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he manages his money. Niggas actually think Rick Ross is a financial advisor and will splurge the little money they have on black gold chains, foam posits, and top shelf liquor. One of my boys hit me up and told me a mutual friend of ours said he was going to use this year’s tax return to buy a summer home. This nigga doesn’t even own a year round home! Niggas will brainwash themselves into thinking they deserve to buy the same shit men of means buy because they want to live the life niggas rap about. If you have a boyfriend and you know that he’s only making a certain amount of bread, don’t go Ray Charles and pretend you don’t see him blowing his money on stupid shit. “I don’t want to seem like I’m counting his money” Fuck you being nice for? Last week he was barrowing money from you to get an oil change… come pay day this nigga buying oz’s of Kush, every flavor of Ciroc, and a fitted hat to match those pair of kicks he don’t even wear—something ain’t right. I’m not saying budget his money for him, but point out the obvious lack of saving going on. Kanye West can afford to have a problem with spending before he gets it, a nigga that works 25 hours a week can’t. If he tries to take you out to a fancy dinner and you know damn well AT&T been calling for that iphone data money, tell him to spend it on his bills. A man has pride and we all want to share the wealth with the woman he loves, but if you know damn well he’s living paycheck to paycheck skip Ruth Chris and make him put it in the bank.
Business Idea, No Business Plan
Everyone and their mother has an idea for a business that can make them rich, that’s a good thing. Most of those people don’t know the first thing about making their idea a reality, that’s a bad thing. There is a Lemonade Stand mindset that guys have that makes them constantly tryout these asinine hustles. A little kid wants to earn money, but he’s not with waking up early to deliver newspapers so he starts a Lemonade Stand. Genius. A grown man can’t just open up a Lemonade Stand in front of his crib, a legitimate business needs a plan, financing, marketing, etc… If your boyfriend comes to you with some idea for a line of women’s jeans because he saw how much money Nelly made off Apple Bottom, don’t jump for joy. First, think about where he’s going to get the money to produce these jeans, where is he going to sell them, and what the fuck does he know about women’s fashion? If your boo doesn’t know the difference between LLC and INC then the odds are he’s not about to become the next Russell Simmons. Don’t shoot his dream down; help him become more business minded. If this is the man you love help educate him on what it’s going to take to make his business work and don’t back down when he yells, “I know what I’m doing, girl!”. Ego will make him think he is just as smart as these people on TV getting rich quick, but the truth is those people didn’t get rich quick, it took hard work. As his wifey be the logical one, and steer him to make decisions that are smart. This means being careful of investing your own money and the money of your friends. We all know someone who got caught up in one of those pyramid schemes and called wanting you to invest in it, be strong enough to keep your man away from your friends and family. If he borrows money from your people, he’s not going to be the one they’re going to call for a return on the investment—you are. Lastly, don’t be like Cynthia from Real Housewives and that Uncle Ben looking nigga she married, invest your money only if it makes sense, not because you love him.
Excuses Don’t Pay The Rent
I use to try and play the shit out of my mother when I was in elementary school. I would go in the bathroom and pretend to throw up so I wouldn’t have to go to school. That worked maybe twice and then she said, “You’ll feel better when you get to school, move your ass“. Losers are like little kids, they make excuses as to why they can’t do something because they know it gives them a pass. “He hasn’t been working since his Grandmother passed” girl his grandma died a year ago and when she was around he only called her ass to borrow money. These niggas will give you all kinds of falsified diagnosis as to why they aren’t as ambitious as they should be. Bi-polar, depression, the pizza burnt the roof of his mouth. It’s the little kid in them that thinks they can bullshit their way to easy street, and the fucked up thing is a lot of women accept it. “He’s not cheating on me, he’s not running the street like Tanya’s boyfriend, and he does go help his cousin move furniture on the weekend“. Stand right there and let me take a picture of how dumb you look right now. Stop being content with the fact that he’s not cheating or gooning, and start expecting a lot more out of a boyfriend then the ability not to be a criminal. Do you really want to marry a man who only works weekends and gets paid under the table? Do you want to raise kids with someone who’s going to teach his children that it’s better to slip on a floor and get a settlement then it is to climb the corporate ladder? Take your titty out of your boo’s mouth, and tell him to have goals that don’t involve getting signed to Def Jam! You’re out there working two jobs, and he’s sitting at home making an excuse as to why he can’t find one— that dick must be magical. Taking care of a man isn’t romantic or sexy and any woman with self-respect isn’t going to let a grown ass man live off her, bitch about life, sit around the house, or scream at her because things aren’t going his way. You fell in love with him for his personality not his pockets, but that doesn’t mean you can’t demand growth. If you really love him, push him to be the man you know he can be, but never allow him to drag you down.