Can platonic friends have sex with each other and still be friends? Sure if they’re real friends who understand that sex is sex and not a jumping off point for a relationship. However, most of the men and women who pretend to be friends aren’t legitimately close. They are brought together because one of them initially wanted to hit. He was trying to smash but fell into the friend zone and is now her friend by default. She liked him but he had a girlfriend at the time so she stayed platonic with him. Now they’re stuck talking on the phone about other people when they really want to be with each other. After enough time we settle for being friends but there will always be something sexual under the surface. The term “male best friend” is more overused than that Faith Evans/Fatman Scoop song at 1am in the club. The idea of the male bestie has become so popular in today’s culture that women blindly give the title to anyone with a dick and unlimited text messages. It’s a gimmick. Most women aren’t even that cool with these niggas, they just want to be able to tell other women “that’s my best friend” …well aren’t you special! In reality, most male bffs are guys chicks haven’t gotten around to fucking. On the flip side there are those true platonic friends who have been down for each other for a long time, they truly love one another like brother and sister, but you’re not related so those thoughts of having sex with each other are bound to creep into your head. Regardless if he’s your true friend or a default platonic homie, what do you do when you’re going through a stage of “I want to fuck my friend“? You go for it.
Five Rules For Fucking Your Best Friend
Rule #1: Make Sure He’s Into You
Every man in America has jerked off to his closest female friend. No matter how much platonic love we have for her or how many times we say, “eww, it wouldn’t be right” we have fantasized about hitting that. However, that doesn’t mean he’s interested in having sex with you. Fantasies allow you to do all kinds of nasty shit in the privacy of your own head, and part of the excitement is knowing that you could never do it in real life. So why would he beat off to you at 2am then pretend he doesn’t think of you that way? He’s protecting his friendship with you. Let’s be honest, sex complicates shit even when we think it won’t. There is no way to predict how you will act after sex. What if the sex is bad? Men don’t want their homegirls judging them for having a weak dick. Women don’t want their homeboys to think, “Oh so this is why the bitch can’t keep a man, she can’t ride dick“. What if the sex is mind blowingly good? Men are greedy, romantically our feelings may not change but our dicks have a mind of their owns, every time we go to give you a hug it’s going to be an instant hard on and desire to try and smash. Women on the other hand can become dicknotized causing the lines between friendship/relationship to blur and the next thing you know she’s wanting to date seriously. You can’t promise that won’t happen, but you can promise to be honest with each other after you have sex, for better or worse. You two are friends, you can ask and tell each other anything, so the first step in seeing if there’s something more to your friendship is by verbally asking, “what do you think would happen if we had sex?” If he says he couldn’t imagine doing it because you’re so close, then abort the mission. If he responds with ambivalence, then he has given it thought before and is on the fence. That’s the best answer. It means that he’s up for it, but like you, he’s afraid of what it may mean. Have an honest discussion about the pros and cons of sleeping with each other, and if you two are adult enough to handle “just sex” then give it a shot.
Rule #2: Stay Sober
“I was drunk” is the weakest argument since “the earth is flat“. Two shots of tequila isn’t the reason you were bent over the bathroom sink begging him to cum inside of you. Calling a one-night stand with your bestie “a mistake” does not change the fact that for years your coochie has gotten wet after each “brotherly” hug. Liquor is the ultimate truth serum; it demands that we be true to our nature. The liquor didn’t transform you into a horny girl who blindly made out with her friend, it liberated you. The next day you two can pretend it never happened or deal with it. Most platonic friends who smash brush it under the rug as if it never happened, that’s not the answer. Regardless of how awful or awesome it was, address what happened before it becomes an issue. If you keep it on the DL, then every time you two are out partying he’s going to be under the impression that if he doesn’t meet a girl at the club he can always take you back home and hit because it’s okay for you guys to smash when drunk. Now you’re his homegirl and his backup pussy for the night. Maybe you don’t mind that, but if you are developing stronger feelings for him, how can you party platonically without being jealous when he flirts with other women? How can he stay unbiased when you’re telling him about your latest boyfriend? He’s going to tell you that nigga is a clown because he still wants to feel those walls. Stop hiding behind the bottle and admit you like each other sexually. Friends don’t let friends fuck drunk. If you want to test the waters, do so in broad daylight. If you’ll let him finger you when he’s drunk, you should be willing to let him finger you when he’s sober.
Never over think sex with your friend. If you’ve followed Rule #1 then you know he’s up for it. All you have to do is go for it. Check the extra shit at the door. The sensual phone voice, sexual innuendos, and back massage tricks that you use to seduce the guys you date aren’t needed with your platonic friend. There is no need to flirt with your homie because he’s either oblivious to it or thinks it’s a game you two are playing. If you’re good friends that means he respects you and doesn’t want to disrespect you by making a move every time you make a joke about your nipples being sensitive or butt looking bigger. Girls fall into the “he doesn’t like me” trap with their platonic friends because they’re so use to thirsty niggas trying to fuck every time she moans. Don’t get upset if he doesn’t respond to you stretching on the couch in boy shorts, it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive, it means he values your friendship too much to whip his dick out. I had a girl I was cool with yell at me years after the fact for not taking the hint to come into the bathroom when she announced she was going to take a shower. We were buddies, why would I rush to surprise you in the shower if we don’t have that type of relationship. If he doesn’t try and hit when you spend the night together, it has nothing to do with your sex appeal, it means he’s respecting the boundaries of friendship. If you want to smash a guy who up until that moment has been strictly platonic then you have to be as forward as possible. Since most women aren’t used to being aggressive, let me spell it out for you. Crawl into his lap, kiss him, and unzippen his pants. You must do something that’s unquestionably a sign of “fuck me now“. What are you afraid of? He pushes you away and it becomes weird? So what, you’ll get over it. Going for what you want is better than torturing yourself every time you see him. The next time you two are watching TV alone make that move. If you continue to wait until “the right time” to tell him how you feel, he’ll be married with children, and you’ll be left cursing yourself for not making your move.
Rule #4: This Isn’t A Love Story
You can’t treat your boy friend like you treat your boyfriend. He’s able to say and do things around you because your relationship isn’t on that level. As soon as you start to cross that line, things will change. Women make the big mistake of treating their platonic male friends like their boyfriend because they’re the only men in their lives at the time. I get it, you’re lonely, you haven’t had a boyfriend in a while, and each day he’s starting to look more and more like prince charming. It’s an illusion, you’re looking for someone to wear that crown and he happens to be the only one in front of you. You want to have sex with him, not marry him, so treat him that way. You never cuddle with your bestfriend and hit him with the L word unless he’s gay. It’s okay to sleep next to each other in the bed, but as soon as you start spooning and kissing him, you send mix signals to him. Our dicks get excited but our brains are afraid. I know you love me, but for you to squeeze me and proclaim how much you love me is a warning sign that if we do fuck in the next five minutes it’s going to lead to something way too serious. Sex with your friend should be fun and carefree, don’t make it into rose peddles and champagne. Your friend isn’t your rebound dick or the solution to your man problems; don’t confuse loving him with being in love with him. You want love and he’s the only guy who you don’t hate, so it’s only natural to misread those feelings, but the moment you start trying to ease him into a boyfriend role is the moment your friendship will begin to dissolve. Your pussy isn’t a Trojan horse, you can’t give your homeboy the pussy then sneak attack him with, “So what are we now?”. It’s not fair to him and it makes you look desperate. This isn’t a Romantic Comedy, it’s not going to end with a marriage proposal and declaration of “I’ve always loved you“, it’s going to be sex followed by… “sorry I didn’t call you all week I was busy“. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known this guy, if you try and negotiate a romantic relationship with him after sex he will react by avoiding your ass. Not because he’s a jerk, it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying, “I thought it was just sex and clearly you want something that I’m not interested in“. Just because you two are best friends doesn’t mean you’ll end up better lovers. Make sure you understand that before you introduce sex into the friendship.
Rule #5: You Can’t Go Back
He’s easy to talk to. He knows what to say to make you smile. You wish your current boyfriend were as understanding as your best friend was. The only reason your platonic friend seems like Superman is due to your bias. It’s like people with ugly babies. That baby is the prettiest baby in the world because it’s their baby. That big ass Georgia dome head of his doesn’t seem misshapen at all because little Tavon is your nephew. But to other people he looks like a mutant. You can’t see the obvious because of your bias. The closer we are to something the more we overlook the flaws. Your best friend is the same. You may think he’s a great guy, and wonder why he’s single or always jumping from girl to girl. But you already know the answer, your bias clouds it from you. Your male best friend can sit on the phone and tell you how he fucked a girl, skeeted in her mouth, and then made her catch a cab because he didn’t want to waste the gas money on the bitch. What do you do? You laugh and call him crazy. You don’t scold him for being a douche bag; you make fun of the girl for being a dumb bitch. If that were one of your female friends who told you how she got played, you’d be ready to ride over there and key a nigga’s car. But he’s your friend so you ride with him and cosign all of his ratchet ways. Some girls openly say they could never mess with their friend because they know too much about him, then end up kissing him passionately in the middle of the dance floor. It wasn’t because the song “1+1” made you lose yourself in the moment, it’s because you think you can change him. You’re the baddest bitch on the planet, if you were to start dating with him he wouldn’t do you dirty because he’s your friend, he respects you and loves you. You’ve told each other deep dark secrets so that makes you better than those other girls he shitted on, right? You sound dumber than Fantasia reading an SAT question. If you decide to date your best friend knowing his horrible history with relationships, you are asking for trouble. The things he did to those other girls, he’ll do to you, because once you cross the line from friend to girlfriend men don’t look at you the same. People naively say, “Let’s give it a try and then go back to being friends if it doesn’t work” You can’t go back! The moment you two trade in the shit talking and play fighting for holding hands and cuddle sessions his mind hits the pussy switch. Now you aren’t the cool chick he can tell anything, you’re the girl he has to watch what he says around because he wants to continue to get the pussy. Your friend isn’t going to go back to being your friend after a failed campaign because the feelings will still be there. If the sex stays casual then you won’t have to worry about going back because you never left.
The type of friendship needed for a romantic relationship is totally different from the type you establish with the person you’re buddy buddy with. You can be best friends with the person you love but it’s not the same as loving your best friend. Trust me, having a sexual relationship with a platonic friend can lead to all kinds of fun. But the key word is “sexual”. Unless you two make one of those lame promises to marry each other if you’re both single by the age of 40, leave love out of it.