I know this guy who likes you. He really really really fucking likes you, the way you look, the way you talk, the way your hair frizzes up when it rains, and he just wants a shot to prove that he could be the one. So what’s up? Will you go out with him? Her answer would be “ummm I don’t know”.
I know this other guy who barely knows you exist. He’s not joking when mispronounces your name; this dude really has no clue who the fuck you are. You think he’s cute, you think he’s funny; you want to know what’s up with him. I’m going to try and hook you up with him because you’re a cool chick. So will he call you? His answer would be “if she’s fucking”.
The thing I hear a lot is this notion of “Why don’t the guys I like, like me back”. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. The only guys who don’t like girls back are the ones in first grade digging in their nose for a midafternoon appetizer. No grown man dislikes a girl he doesn’t know. Girls are nut jobs, they mentally sabotage themselves when they’re around guys they’re attracted to, in the same way corny dudes say all the wrong things around bad bitches. A girl will be feeling you and say nothing. I’m serious I had this girl tell me years after the fact that she liked me when I thought she hated me. It’s the weirdest fucking thing, a girl will sit there face to face with the guy she’s been talking about all week and act as if she’s annoyed. This guy has no idea that you smile inside at the mention of his name or that you’ve been talking to all your girlfriends about him as if you’re already in a relationship. He’s standing their thinking, “why is this bitch frowned up like she shit her pants?” You want him to want you but don’t want him to know that you want him so you act as though you don’t want him… that makes no sense but to certain females it’s a code they live by. And that’s why sabotage not shyness is the problem.
Here are some of the things I’ve heard women say, “I don’t want him to know I like him” Genius! What a better way to land homie than to act as if you want nothing to do with him. “I’m not dressed”, “My hair’s not done”, “too many people are around”, “I look fat cus I ate breakfast today”, “It’s cold outside”, “He don’t look the same without his blue striped shirt on”. Bullshit excuses girls make up so they won’t have to engage a person they’re digging. Women may mature faster than men, but there is one thing we have you beat at: NO FEAR.
Even pussy niggas have the heart to holla. Women hide behind chivalry, “he’s supposed to make the first move if he’s a real man”. That’s code for “I’m afraid to make the first move because I don’t want to be rejected”. Women fear rejection, so they sabotage themselves with weak ass excuses. We men have been rejected since the first time we tried to hold a chick’s hand on the playground. We don’t care. Most men have no fear of being rejected by a woman because that gamble is part of the fun. I mean sometimes it’s to a man’s detriment; you ever see the dude in the club who keeps trying to dance with the big booty dime and she moves away over and over again? He may be a sad sight, but I tip my hat to him for having the balls to try. That pretty girl over there, she thinks flirting is not making eye contact and pretending to be bored, agitated, and stuck up all at once– of course he’s not going to come over– you look evil!
Okay but what if you aren’t afraid to talk to him, you’ve bossed up and put yourself out there and he played the hell out of you. Then it’s time to look at yourself, I’m not talking about in the mirror I’m talking about your attitude towards others. This is what I like about girls who know they’re not the cutest, they don’t complain about the hand they were dealt. They couldn’t help that they had bad genes and inherited a fucked up forehead, so they make it work. For an ugly hoe guys not liking them isn’t new, so they’ve evolved to the point that their game is ultra tight. Busted hoes have mad confidence, and will pull any guy they want because they’ve learned how to overcome their looks and highlight other things that bait niggas in. Chicks always make a side comment about “How he got a baby with her” when they see an attractive dude with a mudduck— she knows what to say and how to work her charm! Every dude has been trapped by ugly girl swag once or twice in their life. But if you’re a cute girl whose use to niggas falling over you, then you may not know what the problem is. You’re in shock that you gave him your patented wink and smile and this nigga just walked away without asking for the number. Are you too lightskin? Are you too darkskin? Hair too short? Weave too tri-colored? It’s none of that. Some call it karma; I call it the Boomerang effect.
Girls play the shit out of dudes on the regular. A girl I’m pretty close with clowned this guy who liked her; he’s a nice guy, ambitious, job, crib, etc… She doesn’t like him, not because of his looks, but because he’s annoying. And by annoying she meant that he called her more than twice a day and always wanted to see her. When a girl isn’t feeling a guy then that nigga is on her schedule. He can’t call, text, or Facebook her unless she does it first. That’s just the weird power trip some girls go through when they have the advantage of knowing someone likes them way too much. So my homegirl was trying to chill with this guy who she’s been on for a minute, they planned on going out to some fancy restaurant in Beverly hills, she’s pumped, calling the nigga “my boo” and all of this other stuff that generally annoyed me because I knew how it was going to end. Dude didn’t show up for the date, he came through on the late night tip drunk and trying to smash. She told me she didn’t fuck him, but she might as well have told me she could see Russia from Inglewood and kept the lies going. I assume she let him hit because he’s no longer referred to as “boo” but “fuck his ugly ass”. She had this Cinderella idea of a romantic dinner in b-hills with the man of her dreams, and got played into a ratchet booty call. A week later she made a comment about how she wished the guys she liked treated her like the guys she doesn’t like. Boomerang bitch. Now you know how that other dude felt. She doesn’t see it that way so I had to throw that in her face to highlight my point.
I’m not saying talk to everyone who likes you, I’m saying treat them like you want to be treated. If that nigga is lame and you wouldn’t fuck him with Whoopi Goldberg’s pussy than tell him to move the fuck on, you have no interest in a romantic relationship with him. Why keep that poor sucker around? Well besides of the obvious, money, rides, and someone to talk to when the guy you really likes isn’t answering the phone. One day, no matter how bad of a bitch you think you are, a guy will treat you just like you treated that nigga.
But honestly if you are a female– he likes you. He may not be into you in the, “I want to wife her up” way, but he likes you in the basic “I would fuck” way and that is all you need to hook him and make it something more. I don’t care if he’s paying more attention to your homegirl, made some comment about how Asian bitches are the sexiest race, or gave you the homie handshake rather than hug you, he likes you. This thing about “I don’t get a vibe from him” or “I’m not his type” is—say it with me—SABOTAGE. You’re a woman you wield the only weapon more powerful than the Thundercat Sword, and that’s pussy. Even if he sees you as his buddy, the less attractive friend of the girl he really likes, or doesn’t even know who you are, 9.9 out of 10 you can make him crush on you just as hard as the nigga who you don’t like does. Getting him to like you romantically is the easy part, getting him to commit, now that’s a monster.