I hate dating. It’s an unfair situation where the balance of power is decisively swung in the favor of the female. When a man is on a date, he’s auditioning. A woman isn’t trying to impress you. If you’ve asked her out then obviously she has something you want—a pretty face, banging body, or bank account that heightens your want for her coochie. All the pressure is on the man to deliver a memorable date. If a woman has agreed to go on a date with you it doesn’t mean she likes you. Its mean’s she’s hungry/bored or thinks she likes you. She doesn’t know the real you yet, and when she does she will probably think you’re an asshole.
Mistake number 1 is pacing yourself. Mistake number 2 is going for the pussy too fast. You cannot treat date one as if you’ll get another shot, but at the same time you can’t be overly aggressive and give the impression that you think she is easy, you come off looking thirsty.
BE MYSTERIOUS: Girls don’t care about your dysfunctional family, ex-GF, or the music you like. Give one word answers and always flip it back. “She had issues so I had to break it off, but what about you? You still cool with your ex”. That leads into a twenty to thirty minute conversation.
LET HER TALK: Girls love to talk. I hate going into a restaurant and seeing two young loves silently looking over their menus trying to figure out a conversation starter. She’s a woman, she’s only shy when it come to topics she doesn’t want to talk about.
KEEP IT X-rated: I never understood people who curtail sex talk. Everyone thinks about sex, so put it out there at least once a date. I once had a girl say something like “I like your lips, I bet you eat a good pussy”. She said it jokingly, but she meant it. I wasn’t up on game so I didn’t have a witty comeback, and I let the opportunity pass me by. If that was now I would have turned that conversation into an exchange that would have made Sasha Grey blush. I’m telling you; don’t be scared to say “You ever had anal sex?” in the middle of a date. Girls are not as easy to offend as we think. Not only will it break the ice, it’ll throw her off of that “lol I’m shy” game.
Act Like You Don’t Give A Fuck: Don’t be extra towards chicks, don’t open doors, and don’t pull out chairs. Don’t wait until she eats to eat. Fuck it; check your twitter while she’s still going on about why she doesn’t hang with girls despite the fact that all of her friends are girls. Girls don’t like soft ass niggas; they hate pushovers, and loathe cornballs. They want a challenge. Let her call you out on being rude, so you can argue with her. That goes a long way in building sexual tension.
DATE 1: FEEL HER OUT
K.I.S.S keep it simple stupid. Don’t feed these hoes lobster because you can only go down from there. I’m not taking you to Morton’s on Tuesday then Outback on Saturday. That makes me look cheap, and makes the woman feel cheap. Price doesn’t dictate “special”.
The movies are your friend. 2 hours in the dark feeling her up is the best option. The thing that will ruin your chances is talking. Men don’t know what to say out of their mouths. They don’t know when to swallow their opinions. They don’t know when to compliment the way she accessorizes. And they don’t know that constantly telling a girl how pretty she is puts you in the “EXTREME CORNBALL” category. A dark movie theater takes all of that away. You don’t have the chance to fuck up when Johnny Depp is doing all the talking.
Never go for sex. If anything cut the date off early. You know how chicks have friends who call them saying it’s an emergency right after dessert—that works both ways. Peace out abruptly and don’t apologize for it. Tell her you’ll holla tomorrow. Girls hate the feeling of inadequacy. Even if the date was going bad, you brushing her off will put the pressure on her. Now she’s wondering what she did wrong, if her breath stinks, did you hear that little fart she let out while laughing, or did that Asian waitress slip you the number on the low. You just guaranteed yourself a 2nd date where she’ll be trying to impress you– boomerang motherfucker.
Date 2: MAKE YOUR MOVE
Bring your friend around. Not a double date, because another bitch will ruin everything. Go to a restaurant; make sure one of your homies just happens to be in the area, “oh is it cool that he stops by? You’ll like him he’s a trip.” See what you just did? You brought the movie experience back. You bring in your friend who’s a clown or a goon. Every dude has a clown friend or a goon homeboy who will entertain like a five year old at a cookout. You let him come in and tell jokes, big you up, and talk shit about your ex-girlfriends. You don’t have to say anything, just hold her hand and show that you don’t mind being affectionate in front of your boy, trust she’ll notice. You’re still being mysterious, but since this is the 2nd time out, she feels comfortable, she thinks she knows you despite the fact that the deepest conversation you had was about how the sprite tastes watered down.
Time to boost her ego. Leave the restaurant and go park somewhere or walk somewhere secluded where you can have your sensitive Jason’s Lyric moment. This is when it’s time to talk, not about you, but about her. Tell her how cool she is, never lead with looks. You gas her personality up to high heavens. Feed her lines about how you can be yourself around her, she makes you feel comfortable, yall have that connection. She feels it too, because unbeknownst to her she’s spent two dates talking about herself. She hasn’t bothered to ask what your last name is, but she thinks you’re the perfect guy because you actually listen. Top that off with a comment on her outfit, “oh you think I didn’t notice those heels”. She will get embarrassed, tell you stop playing yada yada, you pour on how bad she is—then throw your tongue in her mouth. Pull away from her; don’t give her a chance to say, “We have to stop”. It’s all about keeping her wanting more.
Date 3: LET HER WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP
Take her to the crib for the first time; spend a romantic night inside just chilling. Because this is prelude to what you’ll actually be doing if you were a couple. If all goes well, at the end of the night make her your girlfriend. I don’t care if you don’t want to be in a relationship– DO IT. If you survived three dates and a solid two weeks of “why didn’t you call me today” texts at 1pm, then you must like this girl. And if you like it, throw some cuffs on it and give her the title of Girlfriend.
But what about the sex? If you were expecting to fuck in three dates than you’re an idiot. If your Ratchet radar was any good you would have known after forty minutes of date number one that this bitch was a week one skeet and you should have smashed that night or the first day she got off her period, whichever came first. I wasn’t building you up to have sex with her. This blog isn’t about how to have sex with a 5 star in three dates. It’s about playing the game and making her fall in lust with you.
It’s a lot of girls out here giving away free coochie so choose your 3 dates carefully, do not invest three dates on damaged hoes I repeat DO NOT INVEST THREE DATES ON DAMAGED HOES. You shouldn’t be taking neighborhood hoes to see 3D movies when all you have to do is buy her some Ciroc and get the head. Please fellas, only pick bad chicks for the 3 date test, this is not for mudducks. Now after Date 3 this boss chick belongs to you. Of course she’ll have to be weaned off of talking to those other dudes on her bbm, but the war is over, Iraq has fallen, all you have to do is hold your ground against the insurgents. By the one month anniversary you two will have both dropped your fronts and then you will begin the real relationship where you actually open up and talk about things that matter.
What if she says, “No I’m not ready for a relationship right now”? Then you have sex with her non committal ass and never take her out again. The last thing you want to be is the clown nigga who takes a girl out every week, investing in something that other dudes are hitting for free. I went over this girl’s crib after she came back from a date with a lame, smashed and then ate the cheesecake factory take home food that dude had paid for. If you’re on date 5 and she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you then trust that a nigga like me is creeping over as soon as your car pulls away. So if she won’t commit, then simply hit and split.