Girls don’t like each other. I spent way too much time shopping in women stores last week and it blew me away how some of the sales associates talk to each other during the dreaded seasonal period. Case in point, I was in Victoria’s Secret and this one chick was giving advice this guy on what girls like. This other girl at the register began to get smart with her. I stepped up in line to buy a gift card laughing at the cattiness between the two, when the girl at the register couldn’t find a gift card on the display she pouted. The other girl stepped in and brought one over, as she passed the card over she looked back and whispered in my ear, “Make this bitch work, she’s fucking lazy”. Wow. What the hell happened in your morning meeting? I was at BeBe and a similar thing happened, but in this store it was a much different vibe… at first I thought it was just a case of the holiday and all these ladies are stressed, but no—Women are ALWAYS locked in a constant battle with other women. It can be work, school, or the bus stop. The phrase “that’s why I don’t hang with females” has be uttered millions of times by females who simply don’t get along with their “sisters”. I have a theory that I debuted in College after this one particular house party. The animosity women have towards each other has nothing to do with men, gossip, or trust. It’s sexual tension.
My mother once asked me, “when did all of these girls start being gay? They didn’t do that stuff back in my day”. Sure they did Mom, girls have been eating girls since the first Cavewoman grunted over some hairy clitoris. What she was referring to was this boom that happened in my community about six years ago. All of these girls, from my ex-girlfriend to my god sister, became bisexual over the course of a few months. I shit you not, every girl in south Baltimore was rocking rainbow colors and talking about they were done with boys. By the next year it was back to normal, and the question “do you still mess with girls” was greeted with a shrugging, “sometimes”.
I’m sure this went on in a lot of cities, but the question remains.
Why, in the 21st century, has there been this huge movement in female bisexuality? It’s no longer taboo for a girl to tell a guy she’s on a date with “yeah I like girls”. Girls kissing Girls when drunk isn’t just the alcohol. Girls wanting to rub another girl’s phat ass isn’t admiration. Katy Perry didn’t just kiss one girl and liked it, I’m sure you had to see if the rest of her tasted like cherry chapstick. Movies like Jennifer’s Body and Black Swan are proof that Hollywood isn’t throwing in those girl on girl moments for men to beat their dicks to, it’s a byproduct of the environment that we live in now where girls can like girls in a sexual way without being a lesbian.
In college I was at a house party. I went to an arts school so we had dance majors and theater majors, some of the strangest people you will ever meet. These two girls who were musical theater or dancers I can’t remember but they didn’t like each other at all. At the party, they’re dancing with each other. And by dancing I mean dry humping. Here were these two enemies all semester who wanted to rip each other’s throats out, now they’re inebriated and want to rip each other’s clothes off. WTF? It’s the old highs school eye rolling BS of “I don’t like her because she thinks she’s cute”. She doesn’t think she’s cute—you think she’s cute or else that wouldn’t have come out of your mouth.
I can’t count the amount of girls I know that started off as enemies, now they’re friends. Once you get to know someone your views change. But what I’m talking about isn’t simple jealousy that she’s rocking fly shoes and has a nice hairstyle and you pop shit because you want to be like that person, it’s way past that young shit. In today’s day in age it’s evolved from “I hate that bitch—oh that’s my homegirl now” to “I hate that bitch—I wonder what it would be like to kiss her”. I cite Nicki Minaj as a prime example who a lot of girls probably hate in public, but masturbate to in private. What I saw in Victoria’s secret was two girls who didn’t like each other, no sexual tension there at all. What I saw in BeBe was sure enough sexual tension between two girls. I’m a guy, I know what angry flirting is. I’ve seen it enough to know what it looks like when a girl uses sass and bitchiness to express the fact that she’s feeling you. At the same time I’ve seen girls who actually don’t like each other fight in the middle of the street. There is a thin line between wanting to eat it and wanting to rip the bitch’s tracks out. The funny thing is that I don’t think girls realize it themselves.
-Olivia can’t stand Renee, they argue at work, they have clicks that run and tell gossip about the other, escalating the feud.
-Olivia and Renee have a shift where it’s just them. They’re forced to talk. Wow’s she’s pretty cool.
-Olivia and Renee both like Maxwell, they decide to share a ride to the concert.
-Olivia and Renee are best friends and now joke about how and why they didn’t like each other. “you walked around like you ran shit” “bitch please that was you, acting like the queen of the store”.
-Now they hang out every day.
-Olivia begins to remark about how nice Renee’s ass is. She joke smacks it in public. They front like lesbians around boys in the club just for fun. Saying things like “this is my wifey” just to make niggas mad.
_One night they’re drinking back at the crib and Olivia begins to smack that ass joking as usual, yet she’s serious. Renee doesn’t stop her. It’s about to be on and popping.
Now cancel out that last part and you have the average female relationship. Why? Because A lot of females won’t take it to that last step. Even if Olivia has thought about Renee in that way, she’s not going to put herself out there on the dyke tip because that’s scary to be rejected and have her running around town telling everyone how you tried to eat it after a shot of patron. I mean she could always blame it on the alcohol but that doesn’t mean things won’t change. But for every 7 Olivia’s that wouldn’t go there, there are now 3 that would try and turn her friend out. More than likely it won’t lead to her becoming a full blown lesbian, it’ll be a fun night between two friends and they may do again one day if they’re bored. Or maybe they’ll add a guy and call it a threesome because it makes it seem “less gay” uh huh whatever makes you sleep better princess. Regardless of how they get down, they will never admit that “the reason I didn’t like you at first was because I was attracted to you” girl’s are honest but not that honest.
We are over ten years deep in the 21st century and for the first time things are becoming clear. Ten years ago I would have left the stores saying, “girls are haters”, but I’ve seen enough of this bisexual revolution to know that yeah, “girls are haters” but sometimes it’s more than petty jealousy or fear that she’s going to “Tell all my business or fuck my man” it’s a subconscious physical attraction. Okay I hear you grumbling “i’m not into that gay shit” and I believe you (god knows i’ve shown my girl more lesbian porn than a little bit and she won’t take the hint), not all girls may have those tendencies… but i bet your daughter will. The way it’s going, in twenty years, being someone’s bff will mean that she lets you borrow her clothes, a few dollars, and she’s also there to lend a helping finger when you’re horny. Thank god for Evolution.