I’ve been on twitter for nearly two years now and I’ve seen the way it’s grown… not in terms of people but in terms of Blackness. I mean it can be funny at time, but other times I wonder, “Any white person that clicks on this trending topic will have proof that niggas are just as ignorant as always, even in Obama’s America”.
Twitter was suppose to be a constant update of what you’re doing in your daily life, then it evolved to one big ass open ended IM Chat session between people who want to tell the most ignorant jokes or complain about why he/she isn’t in a relationship. Let’s call it what it is, bored people with no life, those same people who you use to AIM with, until you realized they weren’t talking about shit and quickly set your status to “invisible”. Now while some tweets are still updates on “what I’m doing” and general “commentary on what’s going on” the majority are people who post the #lonelytweet aka “I wish he was here” or “what yall doing” followed by “twitter is weak tonight, I’m off this “ like someone gives a fuck that you’re getting off twitter??? All social networking sites, be it Facebook, myspace, YouTube, are full of Attention whores. But Twitter is ego stroking on crack and a popularity contest where even the most average looking girl in real life can take a picture with her boobs spilling out and have people dick riding her day in and day out. I would love to see the some of the Twitter DM’s of the pretty attention whores. I’m sure it’s filled with Thirsty men (and some women) kissing ass and trying to mac from thousands of miles away just because she tweeted “I’m so horny right now lol 🙂 ” But let’s focus on the infamous trending topics. For those of you who don’t twitter, I’m going to break down the good bad and the ugly on the #TT’s.
#moviesthatshouldbeporns: Fun with Dick and Jane dominates this one.
#itampon: when the ipad dropped this was trending for days
#ifsouljaboysarapper: The easiest target in Hip Hop, Soulja Boy is constantly a source of jokes.
#theuglyfriend: my all time favorite although by the looks of some of the people tweeting jokes, the ugly friend doesn’t know they are the ugly friend.
The Heartbroken and bitter:
#Whywebrokeup: Guys go in with jokes about girls being ugly or sluts. Girls go in even harder about guys being dogs.
#Firstdatethoughts: Sometimes funny, other times sad when you realize that some people are bullshitting and never been on first dates, just a blockbuster movie and a one night stand.
#Sidechicktweet: This is a recent one where people are going in on girls who don’t know they’re the sideline hoe. a few women tried to get a SideNiggatweet going, but It quickly died down when they realized they were making themselves look like promiscuous whores.
#Withyobrokeass and #V-Day: am I the only one who found it funny that these two were neck and neck on Valentine’s Day?
#3wordsaftersex / 3wordsbeforesex / 3wrodsduringsex: Yup the freaks come out at night. Talk about #twitterafterdark, I’m nasty to a point, and dudes on twitter go in hard with the x-rated, but since the majority of the people I follow are female, my jaw dropped when I read some of the shit coming out of these girls mouths. I mean, I don’t mind, but you do realize this stuff is being catalogued by the government now, don’t you?
#Uainthitnitright: Another female inspired trending topic about guys with weak strokes.
#Gooddick #goodpussy: This is the one that got banned from the list. It was the first one where I realized that Black people had taken over twitter.
I read an article where a white woman wrote that late at night she gets on twitter and reads “What Black People Are Doing” not because she’s racist, but because she finds it fascinating, she went on to applaud the hilarity of the late night “black twitter” as oppose to the “white twitter” of the day time. I agree, I sometimes sit reading the shit and laughing because it is genuinely FUNNY AS HELL if I’m laughing with them or at them is another thing. But another part of me, a small part, feels sad and ashamed because this is Black America unfiltered. And it’s like wow, “Do you really want to put yourself out there like that?” these people are keeping it all the way real even down to the fact that they can’t spell! If it comes off as low brow, and idiotic, so be it, they’re having fun. Twitter is a real life look at what “average” black people do. They watch BET, They hate on the Lakers, debate what rappers suck, they worry about school work, they complain about boyfriends (strangely I’ve never seen a guy complain about their relationship on twitter…), talk shit about what people wear, sell mixtapes, go to low budget modeling shoots, drunk tweet after the club, seek attention through slutty pictures and dirty talk, but most importantly, they entertain me.
So what if Twitter has become overrun by ignorant Black people who drink Moscato and spend all day watching TV. When I’m in chill mode it makes me happy that I can scroll through my timeline and be generally entertained on all fronts. I love Twitter and all of the people I follow. My advice, if you can’t stomach niggas, then don’t get on twitter. If it doesn’t bother you and you want to laugh, follow as many black people on twitter as possible.